Friday, January 18, 2019

Submissives, Slaves & Littles

Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!


Mantras for Submissives - Having lived most of my life in a pure vanilla person, moving into a full time d/s setting is not always natural for me and I need some self reminders at times. 

 Submissive Pride - What motivates a submissive? What makes them step up and live their submission with such fanatical determination? What causes them to go at their tasks and duties and protocols with such kamikaze intensity?

Best Chastity Letter Ever - I know you far better than you know yourself, and I understand that an exploration into your desires and fetish won’t work while we remain equal partners, so I’m making you my Chastity Boy.

So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You - I’ve had a recent surge of questions from eager, fairly inexperienced submissives wanting to know how they can turn their boyfriend into the Dom of their dreams.

 Why Submission? - I kneel before Him, focusing on instructions, the sound of His voice. I feel myself slip into that submissive mindset and let the world become a distant echo until there is only Him.

What Does It Mean To Be A Smart Submissive? - Be aware of your Dominants usual behavior, if something is off, mention it. Dominants are human too, they equally need and deserve comfort and understanding during rough times.

 A Boy Writes, and Daddies Respond - “I been told since I don’t know much irl about sex that I’m no good. Since I don’t know anything about sex irl there’s nothing he can do with me."

 A Boy That Knows The Power Of Surrender, And Has Given Himself Over To It Completely. - I know what that feels like. I’ve gone to that place. And it’s changed me. I’m not the same person I was when I started this journey a year ago.

 Submissives Who Submit To Pain: Four Types - I can’t speak for all sadistic Doms, just for myself. While ideally, I’d prefer an actual masochist, either of the other types are also fine, as long as they approach the thing in the right spirit…
Good Boy - A VERY POPULAR poem.

 Is the 100% sub slave just online fantasy? - Almost certainly. It’s a great big world out there, maybe there’s a handful of submissives who can manage 100% non-stop submission. That sounds exhausting.

Protecting Real Submissives - I’m the caring loving pleaser and I’ll do anything for my dominant partner. But that can go wrong on so many levels for so many reasons. We are so vulnerable to real abuse that can be life-changing.

How I Serve - 8 months ago, I was able to embrace my submissive side and say “this is who I am”. Since then I journey, I observe, I struggle and yet I go deeper into understanding. What follows are my meandering thoughts and opinions.

Finding Your Strength As A Sub - You’re a submissive. Passive. Someone who wants to be taken advantage of. No backbone. No strength. You are big but you are weak willed.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

The Language Of Submission - Love is the foundation of Master and slave; and the language of love that a submissive speaks, how they express their submission is very important. Giving your Master what he desires is very important.

What Do You Consider To Be Basic Submissive Duties? - Know yourself. You have limitations. Don’t ignore them. There is no prize for pushing yourself too far for the sake of a Dom (mes) pleasure. It makes you untrustworthy and dangerous.

My Submission is Earned - I am mine, not yours. If you want me to be yours, show me you’re worth it.

Connected, Balanced and Growing. He is Master, I am slave. - The power of a Master slave dynamic is the clarity it brings. I came to you because I sensed that your Dominant side would help me understand and own my submissive nature.

How fear drives a slave’s existence - For a slave, the past is never prologue. i understand that i must earn anew, each day, the privilege of serving Him. i can (and should) take nothing for granted.

Life for a 24/7 Slave, In Detail - Yes, I am fully, totally, completely owned, 24/7/365. That doesn’t mean I’m locked in a cage when I’m not directly serving my Owner, although we do live together. It just means He has complete control…

Submitting to a Master vs. Being “Treated Like Shit” - Before slave was a slave, it imagined serving a Master to be very different than it ended up being. it had always imagined being treated like shit.


Why true SM enriches the slave in its life - BDSM is such a special thing and the skills and experiences required is like those for an acrobat…

 "Shitty Subs" - All we ever hear about are shitty Doms, fake Doms, predatory Doms. Not a peep about shitty subs. We both know Doms who have been fucked up bad because they got involved with one, but no one ever talks about it.

 Points to Ponder, Pre-Collaring - The negotiation process is a two way street and a strong power exchange relationship begins with a two-way dialog. Listed here are some points for a prospective slave to consider when negotiating with an inexperienced Master…

Identity: Faggot, Omega, Boy - When it comes to identity, recognize that BDSM has an unbelievable spectrum of people within it, and identity is often more complicated than a single title. Some identities are more pronounced than others.


Online Porn Doms Terrify Me - The idea that because they identify as a dominant-type, or at least they think they do, means that every submissive-type will fall to their knees in worship is ridiculous!

 Boring, Bored, and Border Collies - I strive to be a respectful, obedient, pleasing submissive but I get a little bored.
You Aren’t Worthless And Your Safety Should Be A Priority - something i see frequently is someone who identifies as faggot / sub / beta calling themselves stupid or worthless…


Dear Submissives - You're not going to spend your life in a basement serving somebody. It's a fucking fantasy. Can you please for for the love of god stop paying attention to that bullshit online that tells you that you’re supposed to be a worthless object?

What Is Slavery, And What Is It Not…  - slavery is NOT about suffering… slavery is about service.  slavery is NOT about humiliation… slavery is about humility.

If We Wait For The Perfect Submissive, We Will Wait Forever - What if the things that make you inappropriate, broken and JUST PLAIN FUCKED UP are actually your superpowers, and always were?

What Is Wrong With My Dick? - A sub with a limp dick is DOING FINE.

 The Need To Submit - Once i was able to embrace my submissiveness, enjoy it, value it, whether it was the dark twisted non-consensual fantasies or the intimacy and dedication of real servitude/TPE, then i found peace and contentment.

I’m No Masochist. I’ve Never Been A Pain Slut. - I cry when I stub my toe and go to great lengths to avoid anything with even the slightest possibility of pain…. and yet….

Balancing Between Submission and Dominance - That's what protocols are for…

 What Do You Consider To Be Basic Submissive Duties? - 1. Support them. No, I don’t mean financially OR physically. I mean emotionally and spiritually. Encourage them, and praise them. Have their back...

Being a Submissive Has Never Been About Being Powerless - D/s relationships are, at their most fundamental level, about the exchange of power; the passing of power from a submissive party to a Dominant party.

Resisting Use of Safe Words - As I have progressed deeper down the path of my submission, I am experienced enough to know that safe words matter and are important. Except I find myself mentally and emotionally refusing to use them…

Where are the Mentors for Subs? - Surely, there are more.

I’m just not that “sub” socially - Is the submission part a sexual thing or do people who fill that role actually think of themselves as lesser than the dom? Or is it more of a role play?

Sex and the Independent Slave - We have talked about how slaves need to be independent even if they are in a committed relationship. Today we look at when they are out there in that snake pit called the dating pool!

A Submissive View: Loathsome Tasks - How do you deal with performing tasks you loath but your Sir requires you to perform?  There are very few tasks He requires me to do that I loath. Pleasuring Him is the best task in the world.

Good Boy - A HUGELY popular poem, which I did not write.

Best Way To Negotiate Limits Before Starting A Scene With A New Dom?
 - You need to establish some sort of trust through the exchange of conversation. It gives you the opportunity to feel someone out and they can learn more about you.

Advice to a New Submissive - I am new to slave thinking, even though I am a born slave. What is your best advise regarding a 24/7 slave/master relationship - I have concerns…

Be Brave - A boy wrote me earlier, feeling sad and alone in a new big city and wanting me to give him some kind of tasks so he felt a little less without a Daddy.

Advice For A Boy During His First Locktober - Remove the hair, Keep clean, You can lend the key to a trusted friend, Chastity isn’t about how long you can go…

How to Find a Sir - Keep in mind, you may not find a PERFECT man, but it’s important to have a clearer sense what you’re looking for.

What to Look For in a Sir - Like a lot of what I write, I thought that this might prove useful for newer submissives who are trying to figure out how to suss dominants.

Grooming and Presentation for a Sir - ’m specifically writing this for boys who when they have a relationship with a Sir will have a power exchange relationship and seek to make the best first impression possible.

Fear of Blackmail - Hello, sir! I suppose I'm just looking for some advice as to finding an alpha. I mostly use avenues such as grindr and the sort. My one trouble is finding the confidence to send a face picture.

Can a boy or slave expect care and affection from his Dom? - What if there is a death in the family, or a sibling needs help, or a sub becomes ill? Will the Dom be more of a partner when things go wrong in life?

The Key To My Happiness? - Career, family, friends, money, none will offer the happiness that being a faggot or slave will?? Is that REALLY the core of who I am as a person??

How To Turn A Leather Sir Into A Daddy - Approach him honestly, share your feelings, and be as clear in your communication about it as you can. The rest will attend to itself.

Living A Life Of Service Means Living A Life Of Observation - When u strive to serve well, u must watch ur MAN. Learn what each expression means. Study HIM until u can read HIS reactions and needs in a twelfth of a second.

i'm a sub it turns out.  - But my job needs me to be super macho and masculine. How do i reconcile these two opposing sides of me?

Where do i find a good daddy that can really treat me like the boy I am? - I can do precious little to help you, beyond share with you the history of people who have tried, failed and won, and what helped them along the way.

Rimming on Demand - OK, this is going to be a long one. There’s lots to consider here, hygiene and disease, collaring and power transfer, pleasing your ‘perfect’ Master, hard limits and you.

Finding a Master - I finally feel ready to commit and enter a proper Master/fag relationship. Im just not sure how to find the right man.

A boy's Purpose - I am a boy. I am a pup. I am a boypup. I am part of the BDSM lifestyle and Leather/Fetish community.

How Should a sub Approach a Prospective Dom? - Approaching a Dom online, on Recon or elsewhere takes some preparation.  i believe it is just like meeting face-to-face – the first impression counts.

Make Dominants Earn Your Loyalty - I’ve been talking to a couple of guys lately and they all have one theme in common: They gave up too much information or power to a dominant before they’d ever met and that guy never came back.


Is that REALLY the core of who I am as a person? - I read constantly on D/s Tumblr blogs that accepting that you're a slave or faggot is the first step to truly being happy. That all else in your life will just fall into place.

Three Rules To Keep In Mind - Rule one: Remember to be respectful and polite when asking Daddy for something. The way to ask is “Please Daddy, fuck my brains out”. Don’t demand.

Am I Flawed, Or Am I Doing Just Fine? - Folks who will judge you from outside of your own experience are projecting their biases upon you. It’s what folks do.

Strength In Submission - I’m a young male (early 20’s), in my personal and work life in very dominant, workout a lot, pretty well built, and masculine over all. But I love submitting and being fucked and used by men of all kinds…

Take The Time To Learn Yourself Before You Allow Others To Control You. - You may not need to hear these words, but there are far too many out there who run headlong into this world without any understanding…

Best Way To Negotiate Limits? - What is the best way to negotiate limits before starting a scene with a new dom? My inexperience makes me nervous about getting in over my head…

Invisible Service - A lot of the time, most people think that serving someone is ONLY about the grand gestures of servitude; being on your knees, worshipping feet, being used sexually, making dinner, doing chores, being spanked etc…

The Art of Submission - I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it is to be a sub, a fag, a boy, a slave, in relation to a Dom, Alpha, Sir, Master. What is Dominance/submission? How is it defined?

Getting Into The Game - I crave a lot for submission and i even have created my blog as a escape for my fantasies. But aside from those fantasies, i don’t really know who i am.

boys Bill of Rights - Always worth repeating.  1. Every boy has the right to have his body, intellect, and emotions protected by his Dom….

Advice For Younger Submissive Gay Males - Tracking down useful resources in your area

What I look for in a submissive - There have been some qualities that have always stood out to me when I run across them. None of this should be taken as a personal judgment or denouncement against anyone who does not display one or more qualities.

Top 6 traits you desire in your ultimate ideal sub? - This is a common question, and I agree with the author

There is Nothing Wrong With You - hi daddy. i'm a boy with a few mental problems, mainly anxiety and depression. would it be best for me not to try and find any daddies or be involved in any sexual/romantic relationships until i fix myself?

Slave Safety - A solid re-posting. "As a psychotherapist working in the gay community, I thought this was so well said and so germane, I’d like to share it.  This well organized thought came from another web site;"

Finding a Sir… A Few Tips - Advice from one who knows

Straight Sirs with Gay subs - Anonymous said: How do you feel about "straight" masters who have male submissives/slaves?  I think that it’s dandy, if the Master is an Ethical Sir…


The following links are from the BDSM Links And Resources, created by desires-of-a-dominant-man on Tumblr. I rescued it from Tumblr's burning wreckage, so that this valuable information doesn't get lost.

He says:

I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves:
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