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neswpnw:
Dominants: While learning to assert yourself with your sub, you will need to overcome years of socialization that teaches you to speak politely under all circumstances, and avoid being too transparently assertive. But in the special case of communication with a sub with whom you have already established trust, that will just confuse roles and expectations.
DON’T USE ambiguous language with question marks or pleas: “Will you clean up the kitchen?”; “Can you do the laundry?”
AVOID polite language: “Please wash the dishes”
USE SPARINGLY: “When you have time wash the dishes”
DO USE: “Clean up the kitchen”; “Do the laundry”; “Shop for groceries”; “Scrub the bathroom floor now”
You do not mean to imply that compliance is optional (as in 1). Nor do you want to imply that you are on an equal plane. “Please” is short for “If it please you,” which is most definitely not what you mean (as in 2).
Category 3 is more of a direct order, but allows flexibility where required.
Category 4 makes it clear you are in full command and expect nothing less than full obedience.
slovenealpha:
Some additional things to keep in mind. First, a Dom should never shout or show anger. It doesn’t make your statements any stronger and it shows you are not really in control or you are losing it. A struggle for power isn’t fitting for a Dominant.
Second, I would like to add two categories, that have a special charm on subs who are naturals at serving their superiors.
5. SOMETIMES USE: “I don’t like how messy the kitchen is.”
6. OR MAYBE: “The laundry needs to be done.”
Category 5 is a simple expression of opinion, but because you are the Man in the house it gets more attention. Subs who have already got to know and trust you will be able to pick up on this and make sure you are most pleased with them.
Category 6 is more passive and, of course, should be used on those you have more control over. But it’s clear who will do it between you two, so the subject can be left out of the sentence.
The categories I added aren’t as explicit, but a lot of times a simple suggestion has a much greater effect then a concrete command. Orders show who’s in charge, but suggestions subtly transform the authority into practice.
neswpnw:
Leave it to a young and very gifted budding Dominant to greatly enhance my draft above! I agree completely with everything @slovenealpha has added. It’s spot-on.
