Skin Care After a Beating

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Hello Alexander Martin, my master is a 95% dom. We have been in a consensual 'abusive' relationship for 5 years. I love your blog and have 2 questions: 1. I get bred by my master 4 - 6 times a day. I really love receiving his cum and would like it to be kept in me by way of a butt-plug. My master doesn't want this because he says it makes me slack-assed. Do you know any other ways to keep cum in a boy's pussy? 2. My master is v sadistic and canes me every other day. Do you have tips on skin care? 

Alexander Martin:

Thanks very much, I always love to hear that my blog is a favorite of readers!

1) Holy shit, 4-6 times a day is a LOT. I don’t know how either of you get anything done! A butt plug was a fine idea, I mean you don’t have to put one that’s a recreation of Dawson’s fist in there or anything, but something to plug the opening would work. I think if he’s dismissed that option that your next best bet is straight up kegels.

For anyone reading who hasn’t heard of these muscles. Kegels are muscles that help with a few different things, they are involve in orgasm from your cock and result in the pulsing that pushes cum out, they control your ability to keep your sphincter tight, and they control your ability to cut off urination mid stream.

Exercising them will give you control over your sphincter, help it be more elastic (return to its prior shape after being wrapped around your master’s fat cock faster). There are two modes of exercise, one is to clench down with your ass for about as long as you can and then release, count to 10 and then start again. It is important NOT to clench as hard as humanly possible. That could cause hemorrhoids to form. The other option is to contract and release your sphincter in quick succession as if your hole is hungry for cock. For anyone else reading this, tops benefit from kegel exercises as well. Since those same muscles result in more powerful orgasms because they squeeze the prostate a bit harder. I’d do those two exercise modes and mix them up like you might a gym routine.

2) Lucky you! Before I give any tips on skin care, it’s really important to note that ESPECIALLY bruised areas and broken skin should be treated with ointment and a bandage and should NOT be struck for a good 2 weeks to let them heal up nor should it receive any of the following skin care.

Body lotion should definitely be applied to any of that area. It’s also worthwhile to apply to the face and entire hands daily. When you apply I strongly recommend doing it fresh from the shower. Your skin is most ready to absorb and retain moisture at that time and that will help keep it healthy.

If you have mild burns on a location such as from rope or if the cane has a rough surface, you may want to try Aloe. If you do apply it apply the tiniest bit possible first and see how it feels. If it soothes and does not burn slowly, and carefully apply it elsewhere. Recognize that a cane or rope may cause deeper injury than it does on other areas of the skin. So if you apply to quickly and you get to a spot where it burns you’re in trouble. When you’ve had the aloe on for an hour and 15 minutes or so, then wash it off. You can apply some moisturizer if it’s feeling better or more aloe.

Although this isn’t exactly skin care, if an area is hot and swelling up a bit try applying an ice pack. It will limit the swelling and your recovery time will be a bit shorter.

How To Fist Or Play Large, Anally

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Unknown author: I get asked quite often how to “stretch” or train oneself to take larger toys and fists. I normally say the boiled down, simplified version of… “It is just a matter of relaxation, muscle control, plenty of lube, along with time and determination, and caution to do it right, at your body’s own pace.” This is the unabridged and detailed description that I have compiled from several sources over the years, so that I could have it in one place.

Putting things in your rear can be a very big turn-on. Hopefully, whatever is going up, will come out again. Here are a number of basic guidelines to help maximise the experience and minimise the risk of loss, infection or internal damage. Your bowels are relatively delicate. You should treat them with respect. It is something that you will wish to keep in good condition for years to come both for sex and evacuating your bowels.

All sorts of things can go in, but not all of them come out as easily. Think about this before you do it. For example (and it’s not recommended): Putting an open-ended bottle up your butt will create a vacuum and it can get stuck when trying to pull it out. Glass objects can be particularly dangerous if they shatter inside. balls and fruits can “pop” or squeeze past the pelvis and refuse to allow any grip to get back out.Even thinking you are smart by attaching a string for retrieval in the even the object gets stuck can be dangerous, as the string can cut or tear the sphincter muscle, anal canal, rectum, and almost anything between it and your butt hole. Vibrators can slip very easily out of your hands and further up an unsuspecting butt. 

Buzzing your way into an Accident and Emergency Department may have some novelty value but, if it’s not fished out immediately, it will go on and on and on until the batteries wear out. And you’re ‘in for bumpy ride’ if you’re using new batteries, or extended life ones! Trying to retrieve light bulbs, apples, penis rings, and golf balls, at 3am in an emergency room ceases to be sexy after about two minutes. It can also be time consuming, dangerous and embarrassing. The bottom line is that anything you let go of may be difficult to grab hold of again as it gets sucked up your butt. Remember the only area that is touch sensitive is the first couple of inches so that’s where you’ll get the most out of it. The rectum is only sensitive to stretch. If you’re new to assplay (and have never been fisted) playing with dildos is a great way of exploring your butt, knowing how it feels and where your limits are. It is always tempting to think that bigger is better and that only the Burj Khalifa up your backside will make you orgasm.

WHY CAN IT FEEL SO GOOD?

Whether it’s a finger, penis, dildo or fist, the practicalities of what happens when they go into your butt are relatively similar. For the sake of this explanation imagine using a throbbing 7 inch penis (17cm). The bottom sphincter muscle needs to relax to allow the penis up the anal canal. Some of us find playing around with the butt or the crack of the butt (using perhaps your tongue or a finger) will help open up the entrance. Lubricant for this is not just essential, but also fun. The anal canal and rectum can stretch greatly but will contract automatically when pain occurs. If you’re getting fucked, you ideally need to want it and draw it inside your butt. You can make this easier by ‘pushing down’ as if you are opening your butt to waste and it’s often very horny for both of you this way. With the penis just inside the rectum you can push it in and out just to this depth, rubbing and stimulating the anal canal which is touch sensitive.

Alternatively, you can take the penis further into the rectum to about 4-5 inches. Depending on how it’s angled, you can rub and stimulate the prostate gland, which sits on the other side of the rectum wall. There doesn’t appear to be to be any particular reason why there are so many nerve endings in the prostate but it is a pretty good design feature, which earned its name as the male “g-spot”! Combined with what’s already going on in your anal canal, stimulating the prostate gland will encourage you to orgasm. This may be exactly what you want, but you may also find that you cum too quickly. Taking the penis right up into the rectum will continue to stimulate the anal canal. With most of the 8 inches up the butt, the end will be near the the bottom of the sphincter muscle. If the penis pounds against it or hits some of the nerves around the bottom of the spinal cord this can cause considerable discomfort to the person being fucked. Again, the muscle needs to relax, teased open by the action but NEVER forced. An 8 inch penis will probably get through the top muscle but this of course depends on the build and position of the person.

DILDOS OR SEX TOYS

Dildos are toys designed for you to stick up your butt. Usually made of rubber compounds, they come in all shapes and sizes and you’d be as well to consider what you want to get out of their use before you buy one. For example, broader based dildos will tend to stretch and stimulate your anal canal. If you want to excite your prostate you’ll probably need one that’s longer and thinner. It is easier to keep hold of dildos with balls or a base. Butt plugs are smaller and stumpier but will stay in (until taken out) and will help keep your butt open. Fingers (albeit small) are in effect dildos and if you stick them up more than one butt (as with dildos or butt plugs) there is a risk of infection. If you’re buying a dildo don’t necessarily think big, you can always buy another one and prices can vary enormously, so on cost alone it’s worth shopping around.

SHARING FINGERS, PENISES, DILDOS AND FISTS

If you are sharing fingers, dildos or fists between butts or mouths (very possibly covered with traces of blood, cum, waste or piss) this can put you and/or your partner(s) at risk from HIV or other STD’s. Generally, we don’t cover our fingers when we put them up our own butt but they should be washed thoroughly if they are then going up anybody else’s. The evsame applies if you finger someone else first and then want to finger yourself. Alternatively you can use a finger-cot (a condom for your finger) with a new cot used on each partner. If you are using condoms, your penis should only go up one butt with each condom. If there’s more than one butt available to use, use a fresh condom. Similarly, if you’re using gloves a new glove should be used with each partner. The same applies to dildos and toys. Getting into the habit of always using a condom on a dildo (whether you’re by yourself or not) will also give you repeated opportunities to practice putting on and taking off condoms, as well as help keep your toys clean.

SIZE, SHAPE, FORCE AND LOSS

Sharp, hard or cold objects are much more likely to make your butt contract and cause damage. Better suited are flexible, smooth edged and warm dildos or dildo shaped objects. Glass objects tend to break or shatter under pressure, and for this reason it does not make sense to insert light bulbs, glasses or bottles. However, bruising or damage has usually more to do with the force with which dildos (or penises) are inserted or removed, particularly if your sphincter muscle(s) are closed or are taken by surprise. If the dildo bangs into a muscle it contracts or tightens up making further penetration difficult. Apart from anything else - it fucking hurts! An example of this happening is when a guy shoves his penis up his partner’s butt before the bottom sphincter has relaxed.

If you get something lost, it is sometimes possible to retrieve it before deciding whether you ought to go to an emergency room or hospital. Going back inside your butt may be more difficult as you’ll probably be feeling stressed or worried which often means that your sphincter muscles will have tightened up. You need to relax, and use lots of lubricant. ‘Teease’ those muscles open gently and take your time. Alternatively you may be able to wait and waste it out naturally. However, if you’re bleeding, or experiencing pain or discomfort: seek medical help immediately.

YOUR SKIN, HANDS, FINGERS AND NAILS

Whether you’re fisting, or playing with toys, hands should be in a good condition. Skin should be unbroken and have no cuts, sores or abrasions. Fingernails should be clean, short, and filed to remove any rough edges. Cuticles (that’s where your fingernails join your fingers) should be smooth and unbroken. You can soften rough hands and calluses with a moisturiser. However, oil based moisturisers on your hands then coming into contact with condoms may damage them and make them less effective against HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

You should abstain from these activities altogether if your skin is broken or has cuts, sores or abrasions, or if cuticles are torn or split, or if fingernails are damaged, ragged or raw. This is because damaged or broken skin is more likely to cause internal damage and/or provide routes for infection to get into the body. Blood, cum, and waste may be infected with HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases like hepatitis, gonorrhoea, syphilis, and herpes. If you feel you have to partake in these activities, be responsible enough to at least wear gloves, and use extra lube. Again, you should just be safe and abstain until hands are in good condition again.

LONG TERM EFFECTS OF BUTTPLAY

Some would argue that in addition to the risk of HIV/STD’s the use of dildos and fisting means that there is a gradual reduction in the elasticity and co-ordination of the sphincter muscles which can ultimately result in permanent damage. This can lead to problems in evacuating one’s bowels and incontinence. Certainly there are men with butts the size of the Marianas Trench which most likely be the result of overuse, or pushing their bodies too far, too fast, without enough consideration for their bodies, health, incontinence, or any combination of the three. Your b

Others would argue that by taking sensible precautions we can reduce the risk of HIV/STD infection to an acceptable level. Like many other parts of our bodies, with practice and care, we can tone up and improve our sphincter muscle control. Furthermore, by gaining an understanding of our digestive system and the workings of our butt, we are better able to manage and care for them.

It’s difficult to imagine us not using our butts for sex in some way. And so, in the absence of any clear information about the long-term effects of buttplay, the following guidelines are - admittedly - a compromise between over doing it and not doing it:

Use your butt - don’t abuse it
Treat your butt with care and respect, listen to what your body has to say
If in doubt - don’t
Adopt good techniques in anal preparation and play
Don’t do anything that causes pain or discomfort
Respond quickly, and as calm as possible to any problems or complications
Go for regular check-ups

BLOOD AND INJURY

During or after sex, you may see a ‘little pink’ in the lubricant. Some of us maintain that this is not unusual and that this is not necessarily a reason to stop, at least not immediately. However, it is important to make clear that physical damage has already been done. Furthermore, if gloves have not been used and your hands aren’t in perfect condition, there could be a risk of HIV/STD transmission.

If the blood becomes brighter, thicker or darker in colour you should stop what you’re doing. If there is pain, discomfort or continued blood loss, go to a doctor, or an emergency room/hospital immediately. Alternatively, you could phone your local police station who will know the location of the nearest hospital to you, (no - you don’t have to tell them what’s happened!) It can sometimes be several hours before you realise that harm has been done. Indications that there is a problem may include a temperature, persistent pain or discomfort, sweating, feeling nauseous or weak.

IF IN DOUBT GET ADVICE OR HELP

If your partner ends up with most of your bowel lining in their hand, now is not the time to go to sleep, lounge around, or do anything recreational. seek mnedical attention if there are any signs of trouble.

HOW YOUR BUTT WORKS:

THE BEGINNING & THE END

Your butt is just the beginning, or rather the end, of your digestive and waste disposal system. This is one of the most important functioning parts of our bodies, which extracts nutrients and goodness from the food we eat and then gets rid of the waste. Many people believe that this is just a small tube linked to the stomach where waste sits waiting for the rectal express to the toilet via your butt. If you’re anything like this, your digestive system is about 27 feet (8m) short. In fact, from mouth to butthole, it’s a 30-foot (9m) long canal, regulated by a series of canal locks and chambers, and lined with muscles that nudge and move the food and waste along.

THE STOMACH

After eating, food can spend anything up to 6 hours in the stomach, a ‘J’ shaped organ about 14 inches (35cm) long. Here, acids and enzymes digest food until it becomes a semi-liquid soup that you’ve seen from time to time as vomit. The speed at which food leaves the stomach depends on what you’ve eaten and what’s going on further down the line. Nerves connect the butt to the stomach and vice versa and transmit messages to control the flow of food and waste. For example, you may experience discomfort or pains in your stomach if you are constipated or being fucked or fisted. Conversely, when you eat, quite often you want to go for a waste.

THE SMALL INTESTINE

Only in a semi-liquid form is the food passed on to the next stage of digestion the small intestine, a rubbery tube, an inch (2.5cm) wide and some 21 feet (6.5m) long. This is made up of the duodenum 10 inches (25m), the jejunum 10 feet (3m) and ileum 13 feet (4m). Although these sections of your intestine are all slightly different in what they do, it’s here that the nutrients and goodness in food are extracted.

THE LARGE INTESTINE

What remains resembles a rich vegetable soup, which passes into the large intestine. This is rather like an inverted 'U’ shaped pipe, 6 feet (2m) long, which joins the small intestine at the bottom right hand corner, near your appendix. This is made up of four sections: the ascending, transverse, descending, and sigmoid colons. Here, much of the water and salt from the waste is absorbed back into the body as it passes through and consequently the waste becomes more solid. By the time it leaves the sigmoid colon and reaches the rectum, waste is normally in discrete turds of a good consistency and reasonable size. waste in the rectum leaves by way of the anal canal and finally your butthole. The sigmoid colon is best described as the final packaging and holding bay, the rectum is the dispatch area and the anal canal to your butthole is the main gate. This is achieved by good muscle control much of which we know little about and yet it hopefully lasts us an entire lifetime.

THE RECTUM, ANAL CANAL & BUTTHOLE

Around the connecting tube between your sigmoid colon and rectum is a ring of muscle that angles the tube in such a way as to close it off. This (sphincter) muscle regulates the waste leaving the sigmoid colon; without it, your rectum would fill up continuously and you’d be wasting all the time. Your rectum is a stretchy 4-5 inch (10-13cm) muscular tube that can stretch to the size of a clenched fist (when full of waste) or a hand. Below your rectum is the anal canal, 1-2 inches (2-5cm) long, which ends in your butt hole. The surface of the rectum and the anal canal is usually covered with a thin layer of mucus or natural lubricant designed to help with evacuating, and which also helps offer protection from infections. If you rub the surface, you quickly exhaust the supply of mucus, which is why you need additional lubricant when putting anything up the butt.

At the bottom of the anal canal, is another sphincter muscle made up of two smaller interconnected rings of muscle. One of them is not under your direct control but responds to internal body messages; for example, when the rectum is full or when you cough - the muscle tightens. When the muscle doesn’t work properly you leak. You have more control over the other muscle, which you can relax or tighten at will. Try it now - you see, control is everything.

EVACUATING BOWELS

The weight of waste stretching the sides of the sigmoid colon signals the top sphincter muscle to relax briefly allowing a measured amount into the rectum. This is also called a bowel movement. If you’re ready to go and usually sitting on a toilet, the bottom sphincter muscle relaxes and lets the waste down the anal canal and out through your butt hole.

SENSATION TO ENLARGEMENT PAIN & TOUCH

The rectum only senses enlargement and stretch, whilst the anal canal can sense temperature, touch and pain. This makes the anal canal more fun to play with than the rectum, which will only be noticed if you stretch its walls. Above the rectum there are no receptors to sense pain or injury so penetration beyond this point is more risky. To the front of the rectum (tummy side) is your prostate gland, doughnut-shaped and about the size of a chestnut. This is very sensitive to pressure. At orgasm, it releases fluid and nutrients in which sperm swim and live.

COMPLICATIONS

There are many factors involved in evacuating your bowels properly, and many of these can go wrong. If your sphincter muscles don’t seal properly then you may leak or waste yourself. Ulcers or a split in the anal canal may mean you get pain and a tighter sphincter muscle. If you regularly use laxatives, you may damage the nerve supply to this area and then either get diarrhoea or constipation. If you experience anything out of the ordinary or have any concerns - go to a doctor. Prevention or early treatment is preferable to suffering, or getting serious complications needing surgery.

DIARRHEA

Diarrhea is usually caused by an irritation of the intestine lining or infection in your small or large intestine. Quite simply, your body wants to get rid of whatever the problem is and, if it can’t vomit it out, it needs to get it through your system as quickly as possible. The little muscles that massage your food along go into over-drive (which is what can cause stomach aches, pain and cramps). The locks and valves regulating the flow of your digestive system open up to help flush-out infections or irritants and your body is so desperate to get rid of it that it doesn’t have time to extract the water from your turds. It’s at times like this that you’re open to release that all too familiar brown sludge.

Oddly enough, we sometimes underestimate our body’s ability to deal with situations like this. Generally, speaking, it is best to let nature take its course - not forgetting to drink lots of fluids to help wash out your digestive system and prevent dehydration However, if symptoms persist - get it checked out.

CONSTIPATION

Constipation can be caused by spasms in the large intestine, insufficient bulk or roughage in your diet, lack of exercise or stress. waste passing through the colon - which extracts just enough water to turn the sludge into solid turds, can get stuck there where they continue to 'dry out’ until they become hard and knotted. your bowels is then painful as the hardened turds rub abrasively against the walls of your colon, rectum and anal canal.

HAEMORRHOIDS

Hemorrhoids are veins near the surface of the bottom part of your anal canal that have become inflamed, forming pockets or bags of blood. Initially, they’ll stay inside but they can, over time, get larger and be pulled towards your butt hole by the downward motion of evacuating your bowels. If constipated, straining makes them much worse. Sometimes they split open and can bleed, often quite profusely.

DIETARY ADVICE

Lowering stress levels, taking regular exercise and a balanced diet will all play important roles in helping to ensure that your digestive system works well and is problem free. Dietary advice to prevent constipation is based on the effects of certain foods being able to resist digestion. Such foods increase the weight (and volume) of waste, and are also able to bind water more effectively, forming a turd that is softer, and easier to expel from the body. Fruit and vegetables, both cooked and raw, whole-grain cereal products such as brown rice, wholemeal bread, flour products and whole-wheat breakfast cereals are excellent turd-bulking agents and the maxim is the more the merrier. Pulses, such as lentils and beans, are also known to be effective, although the novice may become rather farty and will need to adjust intakes accordingly.

The addition of bran to the diet (along with sufficient fluid intake) can provide some relief from constipation, although this should not be a substitution for a healthy diet. Diets which are more likely to lead to constipation include dairy products, fatty foods and foods which have little or no fibre. If you experience pain, discomfort, if you’re not evacuating properly solid turds regularly or if you have any concerns - visit your doctor.

DOUCHING

At a very young age we are taught to dispose of waste needy and hopefully silently and are not encouraged to talk about one of life’s messy taboos. Consequently, for many of us, it’s not something we deal with very well. There’s probably been a time in all our lives when, during sex, soiled ourselves or seen our partner(s) do the same. Embarrassing or what! Like many things in life, with practice and familiarity we can get it right. Whether you’re learning to drive, using a computer, or putting in your first set of contact lenses, the experience is often uncomfortable or daunting at first. Douching for the first time is no different. Quite apart from cleaning you out, douching is a good way for you to get to know your butt, how it feels and works. Whilst waste can be unpleasant to some people, douching helps to put it into perspective and over time it becomes little more than an occupational hazard. Putting water inside you butt triggers your sphincter muscles to relax, letting out the water and the waste. Although never foolproof, douching makes fucking, heavy lingering, using dildos and in particular fisting, much cleaner.

Douching by itself can cause irritation as the water washes away friendly bacteria and a protective mucus lining the inside of your butt. Rough or careless douching technique can bruise the wall of your butt and breaks in the surface are more susceptible to infections, which can be difficult and unpleasant to treat. Furthermore, if your butt is damaged, this can provide a way into the body for cum, blood, piss and waste, possibly infected with HIV and other STD’s. You can minimise these risks with good technique, and by maintaining your douche equipment.

There are three types of douche equipment. Whichever method you use, the principle remains the same: you’re clearing yourself out with water: (shower or tap) hose attachments which produces the most consistent supply of water and allows you to control the pressure; gravity feed douches which depends on gravity to take the water into your butt; and bulb syringe douches that offers a handy and ever so portable alternative to the other two methods but which relies on you to pump the water inside.

HOW FAR TO DOUCHE & STAYING CLEAN

What you want to do sexually usually determines how far you’ll want to douche and the further up you douche the longer you’ll remain clean. Douching to the depth you require comes with practice. Factors to consider are how far up you put the nozzle, the amount and pressure of water and how long you keep the water inside before releasing it. You have sphincter muscles above and below the rectum and you need to bear in mind that there is sometimes waste above both of them. When douching the rectum, the nozzle or the build-up of water can accidentally stimulate the top sphincter muscle, which may relax and let a dump of waste down from the sigmoid colon. This often means that you have to douche again. What was to be a 10-15 minute douche now takes much longer as you have to wash out the area above the top muscle as well as the rectum. However with practice, you will improve your muscle control and sense how long your douche will take.

It’s difficult to gauge how long you’ll remain clean. Factors to take into consideration include what and when you last ate, to what extent you’ve douched and whether you have any diarrhoea, irritation or infection. For example, if you eat after douching, your digestive system, like a conveyer belt, moves everything along and this is likely to affect the time you’ll stay clean. All things being equal - if you douche lightly you should be all right for 2-4 hours, with a deeper douche 4-6 hours, often longer. Apart from the discomfort of having sex after a big meal, eating after douching will reduce the time you remain clean. You also need to remember that occasional muscle reflexes from the rectum to the stomach and small intestine can cause symptoms such as tummy upset and cramps which also speeds the food towards the rectum.

HOSE (BATH & SHOWER) ATTACHMENTS

Using a hose attachment is an effective way to clear out the rectum and, if you want to go further, the sigmoid colon and further up. A hose attachment with a continuous stream of water is more likely to accomplish this than gravity or bulb syringe douches which uses less water, pumped in manually.

You attach one end of the hose to the shower or bath/sink tap, and slide the nozzle end up your butt, making sure that the water pressure and temperature are correct. This type of douche (or direct plumbing hook-up) runs the risk of unexpected changes, which can be uncomfortable or even dangerous. Gauging the correct pressure comes with practice but as a guide: turn the head of water upward like a fountain - it should be no more than 1-2 inches (2-5cm) high. Some hot water systems are not able to provide warm water at this low rate of flow and the only way you’ll get water at the right temperature is with a higher fountain. Just be careful. If the water pressure’s too high, this is the classic way to perforate or 'puncture’ the wall of your rectum or colon. This is not that common but it does happen and monitoring flow and temperature will significantly reduce any risks. However, a hose is more likely to wash away the protective mucus lining your butt than a gravity or bulb syringe douche. Any infections taken into your rectum or already present can be taken further up where it can be difficult to treat. Again, anecdotal evidence suggests that this is not common but, it does happen and good hygiene will significantly reduce any risks.

GRAVITY DOUCHE

This method is slower but some believe safer. Douche kits of this type usually consist of a plastic 3-4 pint (2 litre) bag, a 3 foot (1 metre) tube, a 5-6 inch (12cm) nozzle and a small on/off tap to control the flow. The bag is filled with water and hung about 5-6 feet (2 metres) above the toilet. The water pressure increases, the higher you raise the bag. Gravity carries the water down the tube into your rectum through the nozzle that you put up your butt. The tap is used to control the flow. One bag of water may not be enough; to avoid running out, an extra jug of water is handy. As a rough guide, it takes about 10-20 minutes, perhaps longer, particularly if your waste is loose. Gravity feed douches will clear out the rectum and sigmoid colon and can be a better option if you want to douche beyond. This is because the flow of water is gentler and allows the douche to go further up the colon before the muscles react. Hose attachments are more likely to stimulate your sphincter muscles making them react and releasing the water before it can flow beyond the sigmoid colon.

BULB SYRINGE DOUCHE

If you don’t have facilities to use a hose or gravity feed douche, a bulb syringe is a practical alternative. The size of a bulb syringe douche will restrict how far you can douche. They are used to clear out the bottom part of the rectum, although larger ones will clear out the rectum fully. This method can, but is unlikely to, reach and clear out your sigmoid colon. The equipment consists of bulb-shaped container made of rubber and a plastic or rubbery nozzle that you either screw on or push into the top. They vary in size holding between 125-250ml (3-8fl oz). You fill the bulb with water, insert the nozzle up your butt and squeeze the bulb to pump the water into your rectum.

WHAT TO DO

If you’re new to douching, above all: be gentle and feel your way. Take your time and never rush. The following information and tips are an ideal. With practice and time you’ll adapt them to suit your own needs. Their aim is to ensure that you do the job as well as possible and reduce the risk of complications or infection to an absolute minimum.

First of all, try and go to the bathroom naturally before douching, then decide where you’re going to douche. The bathroom / toilet is usually the best place but wherever you do it remember that pushing lumps of waste down a shower or bath plughole is messy, not much fun, and can upset hotel staff, roommates or your mother!

When you’re ready to start, wash your hands thoroughly. You may wish to lock the door (unless you want someone to watch). A towel within easy reach is often useful
Using lukewarm water will make douching easier and more comfortable. Make sure metal douche nozzles are warm. Using cold water is like throwing your butt into a freezer - it clamps up and can send you into shock. Let the water run through for a few seconds to make sure it is at the correct pressure and temperature

Smearing a little lubricant on the inside of the entrance of your butt and on the nozzle end will help it slip inside. (As you continue to douche you might need to re-lube the nozzle)
Relax your sphincter muscles and gently slide the nozzle up into your butthole, this usually varies between 3-5 inches (7-12cm). Then, without straining, close your sphincter muscles (to help keep the water inside). As you feel your rectum filling with water, you’ll feel the urge to push and empty yourself. Try to take in as much water as you can comfortably, but never strain to keep the water inside. Relax your sphincter muscles to let out the water and any waste. Take in more water to repeat the process until you’re flushing out clear water

You will probably need to hold the nozzle in place with your hand while you’re douching. When you let the water and waste out, your hand is very likely to come into direct contact with it. This may come as a bit of a shock to you but however, unpleasant as it may seem, waste is nothing more than the remains of digested food. (And if you enjoy rimming - then you should have nothing to complain about)

If you rush douching by perhaps thrusting the nozzle inside or banging it against a sphincter muscle, your butt will register the pain, and tighten up or prematurely empty out the water and waste. These spasms or cramps may mean you may experience some discomfort but this is not so much dangerous as unpleasant. Your muscles usually settle down after a few minutes. As was said earlier, the answer is usually very simple: be gentle and take your time. With care and practice, you should be able to manipulate the water to get into those little unseen nooks and crannies. 

Each person’s butt is different but as a rough guide it can take 5-10 flushes to clear yourself out depending on how much waste there is inside you, its consistency, and your muscle control. When you’ve finished you may feel that there’s some water caught inside. Be careful for a while afterwards, as there’s nothing worse than dumping a load of douche water on the floor or on the bus! You may feel the need to get rid of the water, but remember that your colon is an expert in absorbing water back into the body. Within 10-20 minutes or so you will probably feel okay, but you may want to piss. Remember that douching is never foolproof. Sometimes you can clean yourself out and then find yourself wanting to waste ten minutes later. There will be other times when you’ll remain clean longer than you anticipated. Practice and experience are your best guides.

KEEPING DOUCHE EQUIPMENT CLEAN

Ideally, clean your equipment before and after use. Wash it in hot soapy water. If the equipment is being shared, flush it through with a one-part bleach to ten parts water (1:10) solution. Rinse it thoroughly with water or the next time you use the equipment you may flush soap or bleach residues into your butt (not very clever). Ensure that your douche equipment is in good condition and free of nicks or cracks where infections may lurk in wait. Some people will flush the equipment through with a bleach solution just to make extra sure it is free of infection. However, this can damage and 'rot’ some rubber douches. You can also boil metal douches, but remember to let it cool down again before use!

ETIQUETTE

As a host (if you’ve taken someone back), you have a responsibility to ensure that a guest knows where to douche, and what they should and shouldn’t use by way of bathroom douche and shower utensils. (Remember to provide clean towels). As a guest (if you’ve been taken back), you have a responsibility to make sure you know where you can douche, and what facilities you can and can’t use.

FISTING

Some of us get turned on by taking as much of a hand as far inside the butt as possible. Practice is the name of the game and almost everyone can accommodate at least a few fingers. To get a fist in and out safety does require more effort time and concentration on the part of both partners. In this chapter the term 'fister’ has been used for the person giving the fist, 'fistee’ the person receiving.

While there are obvious benefits to fisting with an experienced partner, learning with another novice can be just as safe and horny. It’s advisable to take some time to get to know each other, and to try and discover each other’s fantasies. Whatever happens it is important for both of you - but particularly the fistee - that you feel relaxed and comfortable. Foreplay should never be underestimated in helping develop a sense of rapport, trust and humour. Codes or 'stop/start rules’ are essential and should be agreed beforehand. 'Stop’ from a fistee means stop immediately and 'out’ means out albeit, very slowly and with extreme care. The important thing is to talk about what you want and not to assume or guess.

If you fist beyond the rectum you may encounter several problems, and complications are more likely to occur. There are no receptors to register pain above the rectum. Perforations and subsequent bleeding can go unnoticed for several hours. You’re more inclined to press against and bruise other body organs. You may damage the upper sphincter muscle so that it doesn’t close property (but still has to regulate waste passing between the sigmoid colon and rectum) which can result in leaks or wasting yourself.

TRUST

If a person allows you deep into their body, they are putting a tremendous amount of trust in you. Be extremely gentle and careful and take all movement slowly. Sudden movements can be very painful. Never do anything that could tear or injure. The more you go in, the more you might find yourself pressing against your partner’s organs, so take great care. If the fistee wants you to be up there, he will be encouraging you.

THE FISTER

First, if you’re into controlling others in sex or if your trip is power, then don’t fist unless it is part of an agreed scene. An experienced fister knows that such control is a fantasy. When you’re buried inside someone else, it is the fistee that allows you the privilege of being there. They are putting trust in you that you will respect their vulnerability and together create a combined energy that neither of you could ever create on your own. A good fister is totally focused on the needs of the fistee and is aware that each partner is different physically and mentally. There is no one best way to do anything and using a particular technique on one person may not work on another.

ENTRY

Before you start, choose which hand you’re going to use. A combination of fisting and then wanking with the same hand could increase the risk of infections both ways. Remove all rings, jewellery or sharp objects, which may cause damage or just get lost! If you are going to fist 'bareback’ i.e without gloves then check to make sure your fingernails are cut short so as to not tear the lining of the rectum. If you do have cuts or 'hangnails’ then it would be advisable to wear gloves. Cover your entire hand and partner’s butthole with a generous coating of lubricant. The kind of lubricant depends on your personal preference. Then slowly press in and out with one finger. When there is no resistance, increase to two. Try using just a thumb, using its base to broaden the opening further, and twisting slowly. When your partner is ready, gently work in three fingers until you find yourself to the knuckles. Each time you come out add more lubricant making sure there’s lubricant ahead of you. This will prevent drying out which can cause major discomfort for both of you. Initial opening up is often a slow process.

Never rush, savour the moment and take your time. Do not assume that gaining entrance (past your knuckles) to the rectum will be quick and easy. It is often the greatest challenge for fisters and the most likely point when inexperienced fistees will want to have a break or stop altogether. Before gaining full entry into the rectum, find an angle of approach that fists most comfortably and try to avoid pushing against any bony structure.

Often the most sensuous moment of the session is the gentle slide of your hand into the cavity. Enter as slowly as possible, allowing your partner to savour the moment. Once inside, rest a few seconds until your partner’s body has had time to adjust. To confirm adequate relaxation, it may be appropriate to come out completely, slowly and carefully, and re-enter again. Above all, be sensitive to the needs of your partner and you’ll know what to do when you get there. Your hand is now situated in your partner’s rectum, which is about 8-10 inches (20-25cm) deep and will expand on stretching. Having entered the rectum you should curve your fingers to make a fist with your thumb inside, although practice will provide variations on this. Once you’ve settled inside, a gentle in-and-out motion (without pulling out of the cavity) will usually help your partner relax. Taking cues from your partner, allow yourself to be subtly creative, changing the speed, twist and depth.

As you gently work yourself inside, allow your hand to slowly open. Then go slowly - and gently - feeling your way deeper into the passage. Your partner will probably let you know with groans and moans whether to proceed or stay right where you are. Also he will tell you when it’s time for a break perhaps having cum, sensed impending soreness, reached exhaustion or just a need to rest from the overwhelming experience and emotion. Sometimes you’ll be the one who initiates the break, realising that your partner is overdoing it or that your hand is getting dry. Sometimes, you will reach orgasm or just run out of energy. Your break may be for a few seconds or may signal a major rest period, or perhaps your partner may have had just enough for that session. As you become more experienced with each other, fisters will be able to gauge how much the fistee can take in a session. A thoughtful fistee will also make sure to see to their partner’s needs.

THE FISTEE

In theory, almost anyone can take a hand inside the rectum although few people have the ability to relax enough to do it easily or at will. The technique is about learning to relax and let go rather than stretching the anal canal - allowing your butt muscles to accept entrance from the outside with the same ease they should be allowing release from the inside.

PRACTICE

You can loosen up by using increasingly larger dildos and butt-plugs. A more effective way is to increase control of your sphincter muscles by exploring your butt with your own fingers, (clean and lubed of course). Once again - practice is the name of the game. Explore gently, see how this part of your body reacts to deep breathing or thoughts of fear and relaxation. Remember. Go slowly, take your time and don’t push; it’s not a race or competition. If your butt feels threatened or attacked it will react in fear, and tighten up. (As mentioned earlier, douching will help familiarise yourself with your butt - getting a sense of where things are and their dimensions). With greater control dildos and butt-plugs will be more pleasurable and give you experience in stretching and taking more and more inside you. A fistee needs to remain relaxed, which is helped by practice. Breathing deeply, rather than holding your breath, will often help. You should be pulling or willing your partner in so that there’s no need to push. Sometimes briefly pushing out as if going to the bathroom, then pulling in can make a difference.

As a fistee you have a responsibility to let your partner know you’re okay. You should also be aware that your partner may need a break and has needs of his own, which a considerate fistee will attempt to meet. If you sense or feel discomfort or have pain tell your partner to slow down, take a break or stop. It’s your body - if it’s telling you something: listen. Pain could mean that you’re going to be sore later or hurt. More importantly, if your partner isn’t listening or thinks they know better question whether they’re suitable and maybe suggest they take their frustrations elsewhere. Ultimately, it is trust - the absence of fear - that not only makes taking a hand possible but makes it the great experience it can be. You also have a responsibility to let your partner know when it’s feeling good. Support them all you can: maybe talk, moan or groan, or if you can touch him respond to movements you can feel inside.

BLOOD SORENESS PAIN & DAMAGE

A little soreness is common and usually goes away in an hour or so and it may also indicate that your partner went in or came out a bit too fast. The most common feeling is that your butt feels like it is purring (A la Eartha Kitt). Sometimes air will have worked its way into the system but this will feel no different from standard gas pain and will work its way through in time. Once the prostate and bladder have been stimulated, it’s also common to feel the need to piss afterwards and often not be able to do so easily. As stated earlier, there are risks associated with fisting and damage can happen and can include perforations or holes in your lower intestine. These may be little (or not so little) fissures or splits or can range from bleeding to a prolapsed rectum requiring surgery. You should not underestimate any of these problems or complications. This is usually as a result of the fister being unnecessarily rough or the fistee being too drugged up to recognise their limitations. A tear or perforation may not be noticed for an hour or two. Internal pain (that often increases over time) and or undiluted blood is an indication of damage. Douching after a session is not a good idea as this can aggravate any minor cuts or abrasions. In the remote possibility that there are minute perforations or tears, douching is likely to make them more severe.

Don’t hesitate to seek medical help immediately. Try not to be embarrassed or apologetic if you have to go to an Accident and Emergency Department. Although hospital staff may think what you’ve done is strange, they should deal with you professionally and will have very possibly seen it all before. If you have perforated your bowel going to hospital can save your life.

FEELING SICK DROWSINESS & FOOD

After your session, you may feel the need to push out the lube and any mucus, and this is not unnatural, given what you have just been doing. Take your time, and don’t strain. You may also feel sick, drowsy or perhaps a little confused. Between heavy breathing, smoke from candles, incense, cigarettes, and using poppers or other drugs you may have used up much of the oxygen in the room. All you might need is to open the windows or go for a short walk. Alternatively, you may just want to sleep! You may also feel hungry, so if you can, plan ahead and have something easy to make or ready made. Even if you don’t have the munchies, make sure you drink lots of non-alcoholic fluids.

PROTECTION

(Condoms gloves and lubricants )

While many of us know how to protect ourselves, some of us have taken the decision not to, and the reasons for this are varied and complex. Knowledge about HIV, the assumptions we make about others, the trust we place in our partner(s), knowing one’s status, how we feel about ourselves, feeling horny, and being in love - all play a part in the decisions we take, whether we realise it or not. When we don’t protect ourselves, finding out why, dealing with guilt or simply talking about it is not easy. 'Bareback’ sex (fucking without condoms) is something that I am not going to get into on these pages, sufficed to say, that those who do it, do it for their own reasons, and provided all those concerned are in possession of the facts about each other’s status (HIV/HBV etc.) and are happy to continue knowing the risks, then that is their decision. There are those more capable and qualified to provide the support and education needed.

However, we learn to live with the implications of the decisions we make. Talking with friends is not the answer, and ultimately we must decide for ourselves what risks we’re prepared to take, but it may be helpful. There are an increasing number of services specifically for gay men that can support us to make intelligent, well-informed decisions about our sexual health, and they are not there simply to tell us to 'practise safer sex!’

HIV & STD’S

For there to be a risk from HIV infection three things have to happen:

HIV has to be in pre-cum, cum or blood, but since we invariably don’t know if a person’s body fluids are infected with HIV, we should always assume that they are. Piss, waste and saliva are okay by themselves (although they might carry the risk of other STD’s) but are also a risk of HIV infection if they are mixed with cum, pre-cum or blood
There has to be a way (or route) for the virus to get into the bloodstream, like broken skin, a nick or cut, a sore, or a wound. Although we might think that no route exists, it’s impossible to check out the inside of your butt or be certain that our hands are in good condition.
Something has to happen (or an activity) involving 1 and 2. Using dildos, fucking, or fisting would be three examples of activities where pre-cum, cum or blood could present a risk of infection
In addition to HIV there is the risk of other sexually transmitted diseases. These include: the hepatitis viruses (which can fuck up your liver), gonorrhoea (which can be like pissing jagged razor blades), and syphilis (with painless sores that, if left untreated, can lead to more severe health problems). Last, but by no means least, there is herpes and warts. In the earlier stages, many of these STDs can have few or no symptoms so regular check-ups are essential.

RUBBER

The basic component of condoms and most gloves is rubber, This is made from latex, a naturally occurring product, which is obtained from a few tropical and non-tropical plants as a milky juice by carefully peeling back the bark of the tree. The main source is the rubber tree, which grows up to 30 metres tall. Initially it was found in the jungles of Malaysia where rubber was already known to Maya culture; but it was only with the invention of vulcanisation (and no it has nothing to do with Mr.Spock!), a process developed by Goodyear in the late 1830’s, that 'rubber’ was born. Adding particles of sulphur to rubber produces an increase in the strength and a reduction in elasticity (stretchiness), which can be used as required for the manufacture of soft or hard rubber. Today, condom and glove production uses a large number of additives in order to accelerate the process and dictate the product’s texture, strength and elasticity.

RUBBER (LATEX) GLOVES

Not everyone uses gloves for fisting. Some people find that wearing them defeats the object, that it’s physical closeness of 'naked’ hand against butt mixed with the intensity of the scene - which turns both partners on and plays a major part in completing the experience. It is generally accepted that if your hands and fingers are in good condition the risk of HIV is relatively low. However, you will reduce the risk further by wearing gloves and if you feel safer wearing them - use them. Wearing gloves creates a barrier between infections (present in blood, cum, piss and waste) and routes into your bloodstream (like cuts, sores, abrasions, broken skin and wounds). It also means that a soiled-gloved hand can be pulled off, turned inside out and disposed of easily.

Some clinics give away gloves but you will probably have to ask for them. You can buy them in shops; unfortunately you will often find that retailers have bought them in bulk, split them into pairs and are knocking them out at vastly inflated prices. Whether gloves come individually, in pairs or in bulk (boxes of 50 or 100), the standards to which they have been made should be clearly visible, Gloves should meet the International ISO 9002 or British Standard BS4005. 1995 also saw the arrival of the CE European Standard. If you don’t see these standards you should ask if they are medical grade A examination gloves, (not to be confused with grade B gloves which are for non-clinical use).

You should remove all rings, jewellery or sharp objects before putting on gloves which should fit snugly. The chart should help you decide the best size for you. Obviously, the better they fit - the more you will be able to feel. Generally, gloves covering your hands to the wrist are suitable although some brands have longer cuffs. Some gloves come pre-powdered which can make them easier to put on, but the powder can irritate the butt if it gets inside. Veterinary (calving) gloves can be used for fisting although you may find that they restrict your hand and finger movements, and sense of touch.

CONDOMS

In the past, condoms have been made out of all sorts of materials including oiled paper, linen or animal gut. Up until the 1930’s rubber condoms were thick, washable and reusable. However, the development of latex in the later 1930’s meant that thinner, disposable condoms could be produced. These were more sensitive than their predecessors and have guaranteed manufacturers more regular incomes! There are now plastic condoms on the market (made of the same material as Femidoms), the most easily available and well known one is called Avanti manufactured by Durex. These newer condoms are 'oil friendly’, so if you wanted to use an oil based lube for fisting and then fuck afterwards, these ones are ok to use.

SHAPES SIZES LUBRICANTS & FLAVOURS

Different shaped condoms are designed for different shaped peniss, so experiment. Most come in two widths 49mm and 52mm and in a variety of shapes: ribbed, straight, plain ended, flared and contoured. Most condoms are lubricated with sensitol, nonoxynol 9 or another spermicide. There are also flavoured and dry condoms can be used for sucking but which are not really recommended for fucking.

STRONGER CONDOMS

Obviously thicker condoms will lessen the sensitivity of the penis. If this is a problem for you, try using one of the thinner brands of condoms along with plenty of water-based lubricant but check it regularly while you’re fucking, as there may be a greater chance of the condom tearing. Also, a drop of water-based lubricant in the condom (or placed on the end of your penis) before rolling it on may increase sensitivity. Although thicker condoms offer better protection under ideal circumstances, the benefits are probably outweighed if your dick is so desensitised that you have to shunt about for hours on end like an inter-city 125 before you can come. (If you do tend to cum too quickly - a thicker condom may help delay your orgasm). Some manufacturers are at pains to point out that their condoms are only tested for use in vaginal intercourse although recent years has seen the arrival of 'stronger’ (thicker) condoms like HT Specials and Gay Safe which exceed current testing standards. While there is some truth in the idea that thicker = stronger = safer, this has been at the expense of emphasising the need for good condom technique and the correct lubricant. What protection is a super strong condom going to offer you if you are unable to use it properly or use an oil-based lube? There are two reasons why condoms fail: product failure (something was wrong with the condom when it was made) and user failure (when people haven’t followed the instructions properly). Trials (Involving vaginal intercourse) over several years have shown that condoms are very effective for regular users. It’s unfamiliarity and poor technique, which can cause problems.

STANDARDS

It is widely accepted that condoms should meet BS3704 (British) or IS04074 (International) condom and testing standards. You should be able to find this on the condom box or wrapper. However, the European CE standard is playing an increasing role in setting (what many believe to be) higher standards. Some brands claim to exceed BS3704 or IS04074. They might, and (if they do) the claim isn’t illegal. However, it isn’t a guarantee of quality and could just mean that at some time, some samples of that brand surpassed the test requirements.

CONDOMS FOR FUCKING

Check the expiration date on the condom box or wrapper and ensure that they conform to the recommended standard.

Make sure there is more than one condom on hand and a condom-compatible lubricant. Some tissues or a towel may also be useful.

If you’re getting fucked, make sure your butt is well lubricated. Place some on a finger or two and start to work it up your butt. Make sure it’s spread up and around. The more relaxed the butthole is, the more pleasure you should both get and the condom is less likely to split.

A torn condom is a useless condom, so be careful with sharp/jagged fingernails, teeth or jewellery etc.
Open the condom wrapper carefully, being careful not to tear the condom in the process. If you have already been using lubricant this can be difficult which is why some people use their teeth. You could also use the towel to wipe your hands before attempting to open the wrapper

Before you put the condom on your penis it should be hard and stiff. The harder your penis is, the easier this is to do. If you have a foreskin it will have usually pulled itself back, if not gently pull it back.

With your thumb and forefinger squeeze the teat end of the condom to get rid of the air, before rolling it all the way down the shaft of your penis. This will make room for the cum.

If your penis goes soft at this point - work up some steam and put it on later using a new condom.
Unless otherwise agreed, ask your partner if he’s ready before putting your penis up his butt. Then off you go. While you’re fucking - you should check regularly to see that the condom is still in place, or has not split or torn.

When you’ve finished, hold the condom at the base of your penis before pulling out so you don’t lose it. Tie a knot in it to stop anything dribbling out. Wrap it up in some tissue or paper towel and throw it in the garbage. (Don’t put it down the toilet it will only bob back up).

LUBRICANTS

There are three main types of lubricants: oil-based, water-based, and silicone lubricants. these are condom and glove compatible, but have the consistency of oil-based lubricants. Depending on what you want to do, you need to know which lubricant to use, and whether it contains a spermicide, e.g. nonoxynol9.In one way, oil-based and water-based lubricants behave similarly in that they reduce the friction between whatever is going into your butt and the butt lining. However, you need the right amount of lubricant to do the job. Too much - and the practicalities of what you’re trying to do can become difficult. Too little - and you cause discomfort and pain (to both partners) and run the risk of damaging the condom, the butt, or both.

Water-based lubricants dry up because your intestine absorbs the lubricant’s water content back into the body leaving a useless sticky residue. Insufficient lubricant increases friction and is a major factor in condoms tearing or causing damage to the lining of your butt. In fisting particularly, it’s essential but not necessarily easy, to come out for more lubricant.

Oil-based lubricants don’t dry up because your intestine is not capable of absorbing any of its components back into your body. It therefore stays there, goes further and lasts longer but this in itself can cause problems. Your lower intestine down to your butthole is now a bob sleigh-run and any waste left can shoot out at a moment’s notice! If you’re intofisting or larger than avaerage dildos, then oil-based lubes are generally a better option. If you have a fist up a partner’s butt, a comment like 'excuse me I’ve just got to pop out for some more lube’, doesn’t go down well. However, oil-based lubricants are not latex friendly, some would argue render them virtually useless, and so increase the risk of HIV/STD transmission. If you’re going to fuck as well, either use a water-based lube, condom compatible lubricant, or one of the new plastic condoms or maybe even try a female condom.

Silicone based lubricants are kind of the best of both worlds, tend NOT to wash off in the shower or bath. They are compatible with almost any toy, condom, or glove. They are slippery as anything, and don’t require as much as the other types, though you still will need to make sure to use enough. Remember, safety, health, and comfort are paramount, and will result in the pleasure you are looking for.

I am not a medical professional. The information provided here is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any condition. It is not intended to be a comprehensive reference to conducting any activity. This is strictly presented to help people get on the right path to conducting themselves in a safe manner, to have a basic understanding for when asking a medical professional about these type of activities, and to guide people with their own research on how to conduct themselves safely, and without harming others. If anyone has further questions about the information here, I would urge you to get the advice of a medical doctor or other medical professional. Your health and safety are your own responsibility, and I take no responsibility for the health or safety or actions of anyone using or misusing the content here. The content here is not mine to claim, and has been compiled and researched from many sources over many years.

Lastly, I not an english major, or a professional editor or writer; Please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors in this content. I am simply trying to share information I have found to help people be more safe and educated so they can make their own decisions.

Fisting Do's and Don'ts

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What Does A Typical Edging Session With You Look Like?

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temptingdominance:

Well I would hope that nothing is ever typical. I want each session to be filled with new experiences and evolving dynamics. But that being said, I will share how I would generally approach a “garden variety” edging session.

I would normally restrain a boy.

It is certainly possible to edge a boy when he lays flat on the couch or the floor. However, what is the fun in that? It helps to heighten a boy’s experience when you take away his mobility, when you put his body entirely in your care. I lean towards tying a boy to the bed, spread-eagle. That way, I have as much access as I would like. If he likes to squirm or may test the bonds, I may add the leather mitts to keep his hands to place.

Obviously get him naked before you restrain him. It is a pain in the ass to deal with clothes once you’ve locked him down.

He will be blindfolded and perhaps gagged.

Always blindfold a boy. It augments his other senses. It makes me keen on the sensations you are applying to his body. If he is overly chatty, loud, or you just want him to be quiet, a gag is a good addition. A ball gag will do or even just stuffing his mouth with his own underwear. However, if I want a boy to focus on the fact that his mouth is made for sucking cock, I will use the pecker gag.

Pro-Tip: Have your gear already set out next to the bed on the floor covered by a towel (so he doesn’t see). This will help you be ready to go once he is restrained. And you don’t waste time.

I start by just touching his body

Remember that edging is about teasing a boy. You want to stimulate him. You are in no rush. You want excite him. Running my fingers all over him. Getting his boy dick nice and hard.

Remember that verbal communication is just as important as touching.

You need to talk to a boy throughout the entire session. You want to get inside his head. You want him whimpering. Tell him what is about to happen to him. Tell him you are going to help him learn to be a good boy. Tell him that his is your fucking little play thing.

Slow Strokes and Listen to his Body

Don’t go quickly. Use lots of lube. And stroke his boy dick. All while talking to him. One of my favorite activities is to make a boy countdown the number of strokes, especially if he has to mumble through the gag.

Listening to his body is so important. The purpose of edging is to bring him closer and closer without letting him cum. One of my frustrations with edging porn is that the guys often just jerk and pause, jerk and pause. Then he just falls over the edge and cums. No. Go slowly. Listen to the body. Teach him to hold it and breathe.

You need to be the person that decides when he releases. (And he should ask for permission).

Play with his hole

Almost always during an edging session, I will play with a boy’s hole. I think it adds to his stimulation. At a minimum, I will finger him. I will usually set out some toys to use on him a well. Or keep him plugged while I stroke him.  Or an aneros which I will use in conjunctions with vibrating toys.

Toys on his boy dick

I love my magic wand. It is one of my favorite toys. It is so helpful in an edging session. And when I want to see him struggle, I will put the device right on the head of his boy dick. He will certainly tug on those restraints. You can also use a vibrator or any other stimulating toys.

Plan for a little more

I do like to incorporate other elements into the edging session. Just to keep a boy on his toes. It makes it more fun for the both of you. Add the nipple clamps. Use some clothes pins. Drag the riding crop across his body. Use ice cubes on him. A little icy-hot on his boy balls. Again remember the point of an edging session is to stimulate him.

Take a Break

Sometimes when a boy does get really close, I put a cool towel on his boy dick and leave the room for ten minutes. The come back and start all over again. This can be really good for driving a boy wild and making the session last. Note however, some boys once they go soft during an edging they may not get hard again. You just need to recognize this risk. Edging can cause a sensory overload.

Cumming with your permission

When you do get to the point that you want him to cum, make sure you have him ask and you grant it. Then stroke firmly until he explodes. Do NOT stop stroking when he starts cumming. As a Dom, you need to work out every drop. It will be sensitive. He might trash around, but you need to empty those boy balls.

Clean Up His Mess

Finally, you do not untie him until he has cleaned up his mess. Take out the gag and feed it to him. Make sure he swallows every drop.

Pro-Tip: His mouth may be dry from being gagged. It might be difficult for him to swallow. Have a glass of water near by for the boy.

There you have it. That is typically what would happen in a edging session with me. I hope it is helpful to you Doms.

To you boys reading this right now, I know you are drooling.

Everything You Wanted To Know About The Prostate But Were Afraid To Ask!

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dirtydaddythings (yes that’s a reference to an old Woody Allen movie but no, it won’t be EVERYTHING just a few handy notes and some educational images).

#1 Unpretty.

Nothing about our bodies is pretty on the inside. It’s all complicated machinery that took a few million years to ‘get right’. Well.. as right as we are currently and there’s a lot of room for improvement. We are only at our most beautiful when whole (see what I did there, eh? EH? oh shut up. I’m trying here this stuffs nasty on this level). Also taking a few seconds: whole in my philosophy has no external markers. Period. Whole is a state of ‘self’. Bla bla bla. This isn’t about the ‘cosmos’ it’s about what’s that button do.

I show you this not as something to memorize but something to start the conversation. This is insanely complex but it’s NOT complicated! You aren’t headed for an MD, you’re after a PO (prostate orgasm) but the two really do walk together for a while before parting ways. The more you know about what goes on the more you can control it and that’s an important thing if you want to be something beyond a squishy pink sock someone shoves their frustration into.

Even then, I advocate education because you’ll wind up in the DIY zone more often than you should.

#2 Big Red Button.

Stimulating said button requires understanding a bit of the muscular tracts in the area. The difference between anus, rectum and anal canal for starters. Most of the ‘good stuff’ feeling wise happens in the ‘yellow area’. That’s where you have most muscle control and as such contains all the nerves you’ll need to stimulate and where you, as bottom, can really ‘shine’ with a bit of practice.

It is also where a good ‘top’ gets to show off. Not remotely sorry to say that a top who has no clue how the pipes work is a plumber without a wrench. He can just hammer around and hope he fixes the problem but most likely will only knock something loose and make a mess. 

#3 PFE. Pelvic. Floor. Exercises. 

Repeat this mantra. Learn them. Do them. They are so easy you have no excuse and I advise doing research on your own (also check my blogspot) for what the benefits are for men. Kinda important stuff. Like not needing chemical assistance (viagra etc) to enjoy a healthy sex life.

I advocate PFE as a sexual practice because it teaches you micro-muscle control which is the “gold star” skill that can blow someone’s mind.

As always: Don’t just accept my word, do the footwork and read. Here’s the Mayo Clinic on the subject. 

#4 Hitting the button and ringing the bell.

Note the image demonstrating DEPTH to target. The prostate isn’t at the door, you have to get in to really stroke it and I do say STROKE. Jabbing is not as effective as a slow stroke in a repeated motion (circular or back and forth) builds a ‘charge’ in the system. It’s a lot like that in my experience.

A poke may shock the system but if you slowly build up the charge pleasure is slower, yes, but as a Top it puts the whole system at your command. This is where you get to show off and your reward is a purring bottom. For a thousand reasons, a primed engine RUNS BETTER. learn this and use it. 

The next few images are meant to illustrate the ‘gravity’ of the situation. The position you choose to stimulate in has a strong effect on where the thing is. It is attached and always in the same general area but in certain positions it is much easier to stimulate.

Here we see “Cowboy style”





Also known as the squat, this position places the prostate in a mutually advantageous position BUT you have to know where your back/pelvis must be angled toward to keep it in line. It may be providing extra stimulation for the top but if the bottom’s bottom isn’t in the right angular position it drastically reduces their pleasure and yours. The difference between being in position and not is massive in terms of pleasure and how well you stimulate that little button.

Finally we come to the infamous four legged shuffle position:

Doggie Style. 

Gravity keeps the button lower so keeping your lower back positioned to not only maximize the ease of penetration but also keeping your prostate in line with the stroke is very important.

Sadly the images for on your back aren’t ‘safe enough’ but if you consider the things I’ve said here you understand what gravity would then do in context of doggie (arf) style. Keep your pelvis in a position that maximizes ease and pleasure. Simple enough yes?

Thus concludes your introductory ‘handshake’ lesson with the prostate.

-Daddy Cade

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papatonyinsandiego


This is delightful. I see some poor man gritting his teeth and suffering in a porn video while getting fucked, and I want to sit the Top down and give him THIS talk, and also THIS one:

https://tinyurl.com/ydcluuov

Knowledge can be powerful and can cut down on the suffering!

For Tops: Preparation and Seduction, Before Fucking A Newbie's Ass

Hundreds more articles like this can be found

at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!

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Papa Tony:

UPDATE: Wow - This page is in line to become the most-popular article that I've written so far, 24 hours after posting it. It's going really viral, in the USA, Malaysia, Poland, Canada, the UK, Taiwan, Germany, Singapore, France and the Philippines!  Clearly, this is a message that needs to get out there.  I suspect a lot of men are sending this article to their boyfriends.

UPDATE 2:  Here is the audio from the follow-up discussion on this topic.  We have some GREAT new stars among us!  Last time I checked Google Analytics, this article has been read over 300,000 times.

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My goal is to teach the reader how to be a superb Top, with eager bottoms singing his (or her) praises.  The steps that I list below can be accomplished in a few short minutes, or it may take months, but the end-result is a piggy, grateful bottom that can take a cock of any size without drugs, stretching, harm or pain of any kind.  Being a gay man, I write from that perspective, but not with any intent of trying to exclude anybody.

Question: In the event that you play with a bottom who is very inexperienced and hasn't bottomed much (or at all), do you give him a some time (a few minutes or so) to get used to you when you first start to fuck, or do you just thrown him into the deep end of the pool and take him to pound town?

If somebody takes an inexperienced bottom and intentionally takes him directly to Pound Town without negotiating exactly that beforehand, then he deserves to be chased away with rocks thrown at his head.  Why?  Because I have spent the last four decades helping damaged, frightened men to get back in touch with their assholes as sexual playthings, after years of avoidance.  

Too many men are doing what dogs do, which is to jump on, pump, squirt and then jump off. It's great for the Top.

It can easily be terrible/traumatic/damaging for the shy, new, eager and inexperienced bottom.  I speak from direct experience.  I've always had freakishly large, attractive rump-muscles.  My nickname used to be Thunder Buns. So, in my younger days experimenting with gay sex, I'd let men fuck my ass.

I'd bite the pillow, bleed, suffer for days afterward, and regret having given up pussy for dick.  I figured it was somehow MY fault, because I wasn't keeping up. Then, one day, my life changed:

I was off-duty (Navy) and staying off-base in an apartment building.  It was laundry day, and a small, mousy and not-all-that-attractive man was working HARD to get me to have sex with him.  I finally gave in, figuring that I'd throw him a thrill.  Oh, I was so wrong.

He rocked my WORLD.  I basically became his butt-slave for three weeks.  I'm naturally inclined to be a Top, but I wanted to learn from the obvious expert, and he taught me some deep wisdom.  Here is a summary, for those of you who want to be a popular, well-rated Top, with plenty of word-of-mouth referrals:

• ASSUME that the guy you're about to play with, is eager, inexperienced and needing some seduction.  Don't assume that he's an experienced porn-actor who can take anything from anybody. Be pleasantly surprised if he proves otherwise, but it's never a bad idea to start slow and careful.

• Stick a well-lubed finger up his ass, with a SHORT, SMOOTH NAIL.  If I see heteroporn with a woman sticking blood-red talons up a guy's ass, I cringe.  The flesh down there is delicate. There are multiple, excellent reasons for sticking a lubricated finger up there:

• Check to see if he's relaxed and ready.  If his outer ass-ring is CLENCHED, he's not ready yet. The problem is not down in his ass, it's between his ears.  Maybe he's afraid, or he's been hurt before, or he doesn't trust you yet.  So, it's your job to seduce him into relaxing.  More below.

• Adding some well-needed lube.  Dry fucks, using nothing but "spit and determination" are classic porn-video fantasies, but again, we can't assume that our newest partner is at that advanced stage.  As we used to say back in the 1970's, "if it's not dripping off of the ceiling, it's not enough lube!"

• Finding his prostate, AKA "Joy Buzzer #1".  The prostate is a rounded mound on the other end of his dick, inside the ass, and its location can change quite a bit (deep vs. shallow) from man to man.  Its job is to generate the fluid that his sperm swims around in. Properly stimulated, a prostate will generate enough additional fluid to give the bottom "blue balls" after a while, leading to eagerness for more delightful butt-sex. YOUR job is to take careful note of its location, and then to please the hell out of it.

• Checking to see if he's got any poop up there.  Yes, from an aesthetic standpoint, it is unpleasant, but from a relaxed-butt standpoint, it's very unhelpful.  I don't know how scientifically accurate this next assertion is, but it's what I learned a long time ago from some VERY advanced players: There is a bundle of nerves at the base of your spine, that keeps you from pooping when you walk.  If there is poop in your lower bowel, your asshole will clench, whether you want it to, or not.  There are zillions of articles on the Internet on how to douche an ass.

Let's talk about Operant Conditioning, in the context of butt-sex:

I'll call it "Positive Reinforcement", instead.  To train a shy, new, eager bottom to CRAVE more, I have to take him through many steps, with patience and respect, giving rewards for behavior that moves the ball forward, and gently ignoring the stuff that doesn't work at the moment.

As a high-quality Top, MY job is to seduce the bottom.  What does this mean?  Establishing Trust with a Capital T.  Being true with my feelings and thoughts, from moment to moment. Staying in communication.  NOT using "Porn Dialog" ("Fuck Yeah.  Fuck Yeah"), if it's not truly what I'm feeling.

Every one of us has a voice inside our heads, telling us to beware what is happening, or to tell ourselves that we are surely going to fail, or that maybe the guy we are playing with thinks our dick/belly/ass/back is too hairy/big/small/old/whatever. That noise is also in your new bottom's head, and it wants to tell him that he is heading for a brick wall.  YOUR job is to talk openly, honestly and affectionately about your feelings and desires from moment to moment.  Why?  Because it silences and stills the voice inside his head, and he's GRATEFUL for the relief.

If I'm playing with a man's ass for the first time, I reward him for each stage that he attains in his new status as a piggy bottom:

• If his ass is tight enough to sharpen pencils, I will stimulate the OUTSIDE with pleasurable attention, using tongue and fingers.  The dick does NOT show up at this stage.  Oh, no. We don't want any panic at this early stage.  I will praise how well he is doing, no matter how small the accomplishment.  I tell him that I'm okay if we DON'T actually fuck until the second or third date (or a month!), which takes the pressure off of him to catch up faster than he is prepared for, mentally.  It also gives him the pleasurable knowledge that there is more to look forward to, with this REALLY nice, respectful Top.

• If he's starting to relax a bit, I will use the phrase "Breathe me in", while starting to penetrate him with my smallest finger.  If he clenches/spasms, STOP MOVING.  No pulling out, no pushing in.  It's a normal response.  Once his ass stops spasming, praise him for relaxing, and help him to know how he is progressing.

• If he has taken the smallest finger well, slowly pull out, re-lube and then bring it on back in.  There shouldn't be any spasming at this point.  Praise him for being looser than before, but only if you mean it.  He can spot bullshit. Your goal is to take him through the stages, with no rush or pressure.

Why am I taking such a (literally) "slow-poke" approach?  Because of the possibility of PTSD.  Too many men have been damaged by inept Tops.  Always assume that he is begging you to help him get past it.  Continuing:

Here is an animation of me, flaring my nostrils.  Back when I was a kid, I sat in front of a mirror, and kept practicing, until I found the mental "switch" to flare my nostrils.  Here I am, half a century later, and I STILL know where that switch is.

It's the same with an ass.

Normally, we poop (and occasionally, fart) with our asses.  We are NOT born with the knowledge of how to relax our ass.  How do I know?  If I order a man to "RELAX THAT ASS", there is no telling what he'll do in his attempts to comply.  He might get it right, and, many times, he won't.  It's your job to help him find the switch inside his own head, so that his ass can be receptive, welcoming and eager, any time.

To accomplish this noble goal, we generously use praise, when it is earned.  If he graduates to your longest finger, have him go on hands and knees and switch to your thumb, with a nail that is equally smoothly-trimmed and sandpapered.  This is where it gets really FUN.

DON'T offer him drugs, including poppers. They cause the scared part of his brain to get ignored, sure, but they also cause the pain-receptor part of his brain to keep from screaming "DAMAGE!" I'd rather have 1% of true, connected and ecstatic sex, than 100% of the fake shit involving drugs. I remind the reader: I started having sex (with thousands of men) in the 1970's, with the hardest of hardcore players. I know about drugs, and the cost. They truly are not necessary.

So, it's thumb time:  Your goal is to EROTICIZE ass-play for this man, and many times, it will be his first experience of such a thing.  You are doing him a world of good, so press onwards.  Lube up his cock really well, insert your thumb in his ass, and start (gently) twiddling his prostate. Rub in circles directly on top of it.  Or, press on the closest part of the prostate, and rub from side to side.

If he complains that he needs to pee, accept it graciously, but chances are very good that he needs no such thing. He's so unfamiliar with prostate-stimulation that he can't sub-divide the sensations enough to tell what he's feeling.  This will pass.

If your thumb is comfortably, non-painfully inside his ass, order him (in a no-nonsense manner) to start playing with his dick.  If his prostate gets all swollen and rock-hard, tell him to leave his dick alone, because that is a flashing-red-light signal that he is about to cum.  That means that you are being successful in teaching him that his ass is for sexual pleasure. Keep supporting more and more excitement, and edging him closer, but not necessarily to orgasm.

However, if he DOES cum with something up his ass, tell him "Don't hold back!  Give me everything!" Why?  Because you are training him to be delighted that his ass is a source of sexual pleasure.  If he cums as a direct result of what you are doing, you're a hero in his eyes.  This is all to the good.

The next part is up to you:

Your goal is to get him ready for the Main Event, whether it's your cock, or a dildo, or whatever.  If you have a sizable object to insert, the bottom has to be comfortable with a certain number of fingers up his ass first, matching the diameter of the Object of Desire.  This may happen on Date Number One, or it may take patient, multiple trainings over weeks, using ever-slightly-larger toys, or groups of fingers, starting with two fingers, and moving up to three if necessary.

Keep being patient, and keep using the techniques I mentioned above this.  This is training and seduction.  You're creating beautiful new possibilities for a man that wants VERY much to earn your respect, and to give you every kind of pleasure.

What porn does NOT show you: That skinny twink has to get his ass ready with a series of ever-larger dildos, sometimes for hours, before he can take that monster cock.  That process never shows up in the video, because it's not sexy.  However, it's crucial.

You may have noticed something in my writing - I haven't talked about the Top's orgasms.  There will be plenty of those, and they'll be great, because you'll soon be fucking an eager, butt-hungry bottom-boy who LOVES what you do.  First, you have to get the bottom TRAINED.  Set it as a goal that he will NEVER endure even the slightest pain.  He will repay you many times over, and you'll be SUCH a happy Sir!