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As I have progressed deeper down the path of my submission, I am experienced enough to know that safe words matter and are important. Except I find myself mentally and emotionally refusing to use them. Part of me feels like it is a test and I should stretch myself and endure it and another part feels like it would be disobedient and even impolite to refuse Sir anything as a true submissive. Am I being TOO submissive?Papa Tony:
Not at all. I have seen the same thing happen thousands of times:
Safe words are an emergency escape hatch, in cases where there is little established trust between both parties… at least so far. Safe words are healthy and useful.
If I am connecting well with a sub, safe words don’t tend to come up after the initial lecture. A big part of that is because I am entirely focused upon the play-scene. I am dedicated to an excellent result. I want the sub to bless my memory, decades after we have played.
If I am playing with an inexperienced sub, then I get all fussy about their responsibility to speak up, so that I don’t brutalize them without realizing that I am doing it. Even at this age, I can still break most folks like a twig without even trying.
My subs know that I could easily go forty times harder, but that is never my goal. I want them to get to where they need to be, and then take it just a TEENSY bit farther, so that I can praise them for their abilities. Together, we have successfully expanded their envelope of experiences.
Please understand - I am hyper-perceptive. Not all Sirs are. Safe words are a great tool. And, if it feels right to you to go the extra distance to please your trusted Sir, then by all means, resist the urge. Be that way. You are fine.
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