Thursday, December 19, 2019

Kink Mentoring Archives


Here are links to 700+ articles, instructional videos and audio recordings, concerning kink/leather/fetish history, advice, hard and soft skills, and so forth.  Many articles are by me, but I have also included juicy and valuable wisdom from others, who are clearly identified.

The goal of these links is to support others in becoming wiser, more skilled, and more accepting of themselves and others.  Ideally, I’d love to save folks several decades of guessing, and learning the hard way.

Enjoy!

Papa Tony



Newest Postings Can Be Found Here.

The Kink Mentoring Archives, Explained


Categories:

Submissives, Slaves & Littles - Looking for mentoring? Here are massive amounts of relatable advice. Scroll through the whole thing.

Doms, Daddies & Masters - Many, MANY mentoring, opinion and advice articles, meant to help dominants to reach their next level, and beyond. See also:  Fake, Ignorant or Abusive Dominants, and Superb, Thoughtful and Valuable Dominants.

Safewords, Defined - Both dominants and submissives deserve to feel safe, comfortable and get care and reassurance when they need it.

Playing with Disabilities - Hell on Wheels: Disabled Dominants; Kneeling In Spirit: Disabled Submissives; Power Exchange Books: Playing with Disabilities; Mastering the Mind, Doms with Disabilities

Consent - Consent is one of the biggest themes of BDSM—if you don’t know that, you really need to read up before you pick up a paddle. BDSM is built on a system of “safe, sane, and consensual.“

Dating and Relationships - Personal stories and advice, from those who have lived and learned.

Sub Drop, Dom Drop and Aftercare - Let’s understand the psychology and physiology of how Doms and subs may similarly experience a “drop” after a session!

Social Skills, Etiquette and Fitting In - How to succeed in the larger kinky community, and as a self-loving kinky person. You are NOT going to find this kind of information anywhere else.

Books for Kinky Folks - Recommended reading material, to help in gaining wisdom and personal growth.

Checklists, Communication and Negotiation - BDSM Play Partner Check List • Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations • If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist • What Are Negotiations Good For? 

Advice & Soft Skills - Learn solid interpersonal skills, and to overcome obstacles in healthy ways

Opinions - Sharing some ideas that might work well for others

How-To: Hard Skills - Covering technical skills that will last you a lifetime

Valuable Links & Lists - Providing access to many more resources

Mental Health, for Kinky Folks - MANY resources and useful life-experiences.

Reviews and Toys - How to save money, time and wasted energy when shopping for kinky gear



My Personal Stuff

New Traditions, History & Mentoring - Going deep into mentoring as a goal and a noble activity, and diving into our shared history.

Creating Community Via Leadership - Encouraging and educating folks who want to be effective community leaders

Memoirs of a Gay Leather Elder: Four Decades in the Tribe - My book’s first draft.  These are stories that nobody else can tell, from a lost part of pre-AIDS gay leathermen's history.

Monday, December 16, 2019

Saying An Affectionate Goodbye To Everyone

I haven't been posting new material, because I have been very ill for the last year and a half.  Now, I am VERY rapidly losing control of my muscles.  My ability to walk, type, grasp, speak, swallow, balance etc. are going away, almost by the day.
I have been scanned and inspected by a good sixty or so medical professionals, and they have no idea what is causing any of this.  There is no cure, or even a slowdown. I've come to acceptance of my fate, but it's never easy.
I am surrounded by my VERY supportive Family of Choice every day, and I have superb health insurance. The problem is that I MISS everybody. 
It's hard for a super extrovert like me to be housebound, away from my loved ones in the community. Having hosted over 3,000 social events, and being part of the Leather/Kink/Fetish community since 1977, my life has now shrunk to a pinpoint.


So, I am using this opportunity to bring everybody up to date, while I still can.  My legacy is contained in the Kink Mentoring Archives, which I hope will be around for a LONG time after I am gone.
This is my way of sending out weak, wobbly hugs to everyone!