Ball Gag Warning

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Alexander Martin:

One of the first really scary experiences I had was with a ball gag. I had a boy tied up before me and put a ball gag in his mouth. We arranged a hand signal for use in checking in. I started using the cane and as a new dom my strikes with the cane were inconsistent and sometimes too hard or too soft. Most of them were inaccurate as well, landing all over the place.

About three minutes in the boy suddenly took a harder hit than I intended. The entire time prior to this the boy had been trying to keep all the drool accumulating in his mouth. He had swallowed once or twice already. When I hit him though, he was in the middle of swallowing and it caused a reflex reaction to inhale sharply. He breathed in a bit of spittle and immediately began to panic. Coughing, bucking, unable to get a big breath of air things suddenly went from fine to BAD. I was scared because I did not know what was going on, and he could not communicate. Worse yet, with all the bucking I was failing to get a grip on him as he went from merely moving to full body thrashing and kicking.

I became determined to not let anything worse happen to him. Despite getting some sharp kicks and punches, I managed to get a grip and tighten it and advance until I could undo his gag, then he coughed violently and turned red. I put pressure on him still and undid his hands and legs.

I grabbed a water bottle I keep nearby and gave it to him which he quickly gulped. By that point he was a lot calmer. I managed to get him to tell me what happened, and as soon as I did, he made some excuses while getting dressed and ran out of the apartment.

This happened because I used what I thought was a very simple toy and I did not know to tell him “When using a ball gag, drool EVERYWHERE. Do not keep spittle in your mouth.” I am still new to bdsm. I have often found others have been practicing 20, 30, 40 years. I’ve been practicing since 2011. That said, I intend this blog to be a way to pass on some of what I learned periodically.

I’ve been inspired by some fellow dominants who have been giving really excellent advice to throw my hat into the ring. My hope is to post once a week plus any and all reader questions.