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OK, boys ….
instructor144:
Let’s talk about a couple of things here.Papa Tony:
You guys who capitalize references to Yourself? As in “The slave who will win the gift of My mastery will kneel before Me and satisfy My every whim.” Yeah, don’t do that. It just makes you look like a Tumblr Dom™ tool.
Now, let’s get to you guys who are into that toxic section of the “patriarchy” spectrum where women are “dumb stupid inferior pigs.” See the Unfollow button on my blog? Yeah, give that bad boy a click for me, ‘kay? Thanks.
That is all. Carry on.
I Respectfully Disagree, Brother.
From your side of the kink world (heterosexual, primarily), I can see why you would have this opinion, and that’s okay.Over here on the gay-male side, we have a different history, and it extends back a good long way. I make no claims that our oldest traditions were in any way universal, locked-in, or ever-present.
I do assert that there is a lot more meaning attached to parts of our culture that the hetero crowd is often unaware of. All that I can provide is my own experiences and memories since 1977. I will now address some of the things that I see being commonly misunderstood in the hetero-kinkster community:
Capitalization
In my own case, my two slaves eagerly took up the habit of using “Sir, Master, You and Your” in private text-messaging, and they adore it. I talked to them about it early on, because it is a sweet part of my own history, and it just took off like a rocket.They are deeply dedicated to pleasing their Sir, and it is used as an affectionate endearment. Nothing else. I don’t enforce it. It just tickles me silly (EVERY single time) when they do what so many of my gay leather brothers did, in happy days long gone. It replays happy memories.
Honorifics
Calling oneself “Master Jeff” or “Slave Eric” or “Boi Chris” or “Daddy Thom” and on and on COULD easily be construed as an affectation… pretentious or precious, at least by folks outside of the inner circle.I see it differently - Kinky folks grow up inside the usually heterosexualist vanilla culture, and when we step out of it and come out to ourselves as kinky, many of us want to keep the coming-out process going. We self-identify as a statement of power in ourselves. Nobody can define us. That is our own job.
When somebody self-identifies as “Master Chuck” or “slave carlos″ in our Tribe, it is verbal shorthand for how we CHOOSE TO BE SEEN IN THE WORLD. It cuts out a lot of confusion and guessing, and we can get right down to business with that understanding.
The kinky community is an excellent role-model for this rather enlightened and evolved viewpoint. If somebody new walks up to me, and says “Hello! I am Boi Andrew”, I am NOT going to say “Bullshit! You’re really a girl - Go put on a dress!”
Trans folks have had a haven in our culture long before the concept hit the mainstream news in a big way. I am glad to see outsiders taking up the cause. My wish is that the process accelerates, and the entire world becomes safe and welcoming for all.
In my own case, I chose the kinky “scene name” of “Papa Tony” for myself. I have been scorned at times for having chosen my OWN honorific, instead of having an elder do it for me. However, by that time of my life, every elder who meant the most to me was long-dead of AIDS.
I chose “Papa” because the word signified an affectionate, accepting and supportive fatherly figure, unlike my own father. It was my declaration to the world that I was my own kind of Daddy figure.
Then, it became my “brand” a few decades ago. This means that folks all over the world already know who I am, without ever meeting me. This can be a bit disconcerting, but at least everybody is really sweet and affectionate about it.
Collars
This topic is ever so misunderstood. I have been present in many mixed discussions where straight folks get ANGRY when the subject comes up. This baffles me.I have covered this topic at length elsewhere, so there is no need to belabor the point. I do wish that everyone had a similar understanding of the lovely tradition of collaring a submissive.
Other Symbolic Aspects of Our Subculture
I have been present when somebody makes a strong assertion about flagging (covered here at length) or leather titles, or what MUST be worn with every single garment. I have been entertained and educated when younger folks strongly assert utterly new traditions as being quite ancient.That’s okay. It means that we are still evolving and adding new ideas from every level of our culture. The only times that I get aggravated is when we stop being open to each others’ beliefs in kindly ways.
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