Hundreds more articles like this can be found
at the Kink Mentoring Archives… Spread the word!
pigdogbeast:
Why are there people who call themselves slaves and give up their freedoms and luxuries and niceties, up to things like sleeping on a bed or being allowed to eat what they want, to serve and serve and serve and work their asses off to maybe get only a “Thank you” for it, and very often not even that? Some need a kick in the balls instead of a “Thank you.” Why?
Why are there men with bruised balls, all black and blue, and bloody whipped backs, and why did they paid a proffessional to do it? Everybody else does everything in their power to feel the least amount of pain possible. Everyone else avoids even the slightest discomfort, while these people dream to live a life of daily torture.
Why are there men who, every month, every year, give away ¾ of their income to strangers and people they consider “superior”?
Why are there people who beg their loved one for daily pain, torture, degredation, domination?
Why am I listening to a video of a man getting his balls kicked brutally and incredibly hard, so that he screams and screams in incredible torment, while I write this? Any why the hell does the video end with him thanking his torturers - profusely - and honestly.
Why are some men living in a permanent chastity, with or without a belt, not even allowed to touch their cock let alone ever cum, which is so much more difficult than people who have not tried it realize? Honestly, its so fucking brutally exruciatingly hard. That would be torture for so many, and its for them and for me, then why do it?
Why are there people who are so much more happy in what should, by all accounts and purposes be, the biggest step down in life quality and comfort ever. Why do these people seek out people who can torture and humiliate and degrade and dominate and subjugate them? Why do they look for the oposite of what is considered nice?
Why are there people who have everything they could possibly need, and they only get truly happy when they find someone who takes all these things away from them?
Why are the three words safe, sane, consensual so important? Why are they needed to safeguard safety, sanity, and consent. Should that not be a given? What is going on? “Normal” people dont need it. Why do some people need to heed these words, what could they need so much that safety, sanity and consent could sometimes be in danger of falling aside?
My boyfriend and I are trying to transition to a BDSM lifestyle, and it is going a bit rough. I have been unhappy with the most loving and caring man imaginable, and though he also always dreamed of a kinky lifestyle, it has never been this intense and unspeakable need that it has been for me, even those years before I met him, even before I came ouf of the closet and denial.
Why was I ready to end the most beautiful relationship with the most amazing and kind and sexy man I have ever met, who did everything in his power, and then some, to make me happy and yet never succeeded? Or one could say he did indeed succeeded, but not with the intended result. Why was I very depressed because I was so so damn unhappy with my relationship and when, after years of denial, I finally came out of my 2nd closet ( gay closet with 16, extreme submissive masochist with 28), what was I actually missing and working for?
Why is there this big group of people, lets call them inexperienced Doms, who fail to make their slave happy, when that slave says they just wants to make them happy. And then there are the good doms, for whom a submissive would want to live in complete service and devotion, and they do and they find extreme satisfaction, what actually is the differnce between these Doms?
It is no secret that the BDSM community has a problem with differentiating reality and fantasy, that many doms have extremely unhealthy and impossible expectations of what a “true” submissive and a “true” masochist is and is not. Because, suprise, a submissive masochist still has needs, because reality is not pornography. The same is true the other way around, another thing rarely spoken, and another essay I want to write.
But this essay is about the submissive and what the fuck they actually do these things for, what they look for. What they need. When is a submissive scene or play or lifestyle actually successfull? Because just being submissive and doing slave work is not yet a good scene or day or play. It is nearly there, and a god Dom can certainly make it heavenly. I think many Doms are infested by too much pornography, and what I write about today is the thing that porn does not really communicate.
The thing that all the submissives I have wrote about in this post have in common, why they do these things, from financial slavery, to actual slavery, to a bit of service, from light torture to the most bloodcurdling screams, from a light tap to a bloody back, from a nice play scene to a year of hard 24/7 lifestyle, these submissives and masochists do it all for the same reason, they all get to the same point through different ways and methods.
They want to feel erotic satisfaction. When I cleaned the whole flat naked yesterday, when I do my excercise and imagine I do it for my Master, I feel erotic. I feel wonderful. I feel erotically charged and satisfied. 3 months of chastity without my cock ever getting touched makes me feel charged with erotic intensity and satisfaction. In permanent chastiy, that my dom gives me attention and twisted love for, I feel a erotic satisfaction that no orgasm ever ever could come close to replicate. A “true slave” wants to life in harsh and demanding 24/7 slavery, because it makes him feel sexy and satisfied and erotically happy and fulfilled.
Writing this essay for my Dom feels like good service, and to be a good boy, to do good service, being a good submissive, is to me more erotic and fulfilling than 5 years of vanilla sex ever could. I am happy right now, because writing this makes me feel erotically charged and satisfied, because good boy. Good dog. Good sub. And when my Dom comes home I hope he says, in his manly deep and masculine voice “Good essay. Good boy.” and be done with it and I will be so fucking happy, because this is how I get my satisfaction. On of the ways. Permanent chastiy and daily painplay and deep and hard service is a small price to pay for what I feel when a masculine bear says in a deep and earnest, maybe even a bit agressive and dominating voice, “Good boy.” or “Fat slave.”
What is there to the disney prince who makes the princess happy? It is his romantic and erotic atmosphere and attention that will make her feel loved and needed for the rest of her live, and they lived happily ever after. That is exactly what a submissive living in submission, or simply exploring a bit of submissiveness twice a week, feels.
A masochist gets this satisfaction, this erotic and romantic satisfaction, from pain. A submissive gets it through service and domination. A submissive masochist from both. A vanilla person gets it through vanilla stuff.
I think that is really the key to the submissive psyche and this is what they need, and for that they would give everything they could. They want that so much, need it so much, that erotic and romantic satisfaction, that they must be remembered of the 3 cautionary words: Safe sane consensual.
I am missing that erotic satisfaction in my life. My partner has Aspergers and he needs to really understand the Why and How in order to do things, and I dont think he has understood yet why I need the things I absolutey need. Living with him forces great clarity of needs and wants, and that can be a curse and a blessing, because it really forced me to figure this out. It never gets spoken about, it just is assumed, just done pretty much automatically. But my partner needs intent, he does very few things automatically.
And so I write this essay, to communicate this. It feels like a big breakthrough My partner often does not believe himself to be a “real” dom because this stuff is what is the difference between a god and a fake dom. Most doms just understand by instinct.
All a slave and a sub and a masochist want, is a erotically charged life. That makes it all worth it for them. Yesterday cleaning and working for hours, naked, gave me more satisfaction and erotic fulfillment then a year of vanilla sex. I did not even have a hard on most of the time, because this satisfaction and erotic love and fulfillment is a psychological things. Romantic does not have to include rock hard cocks. Otherwise chastity would not make much sense. But it certainly can.
The dom who knows how to say “Good slave.” in a way that make the cock and the animal brain tingle with erotic energy, is the dom who will then have a slave for life. The dom who nows how to make a slave feel erotic and horny by simply speaking in a deep commanding voice, saying “Do the dishes.” and nothing else, will make a submissive deeply and profusely happy and grateful.
For a masochist, erotic satisfaction is so important, so fucking worth it, that many are happy to get whipped bloody for it. That is the secret to the submissive mind and brain.
A good dom realized that every sub has different triggers. That every sub has different ways of feeling and getting to that place of erotic satisfaction. That is why good doms all have one thing in common: They are deeply deeply interested and faszinated and intrigued by the submissive psyche. That is really the most important quality. The rest can be learned. Because of this I think my boyfriend can learn to be a good dom, but it is a fight of preconcived notion and indoctrination of a lifetime of pornography, that treated submissives as mere sextoys that are to shut up.
And for some subs feeling that way is the way to erotically charged satisfaction and happiness, it is what they need. I certainly get fucking hard when I not get told “Thank you.” but if best service is simply expected. And for some it is different once again. The only way to figure these things out is great communication and honesty. And it is a complicated topic. Subtely is needed. There are days where I really need to fucking hear a “Thank you.” because otherwise I will lose my shit. Only practice can teach these things.
Good doms practice this every day. Are interested in it every day. Want to learn how to make their sub feel that erotic tingle, that erotic satisfaction after a day of hard service. Good doms want to learn how to come home to a slave in a way that makes the slave feel slutty and horny, how to say “I am home honey.” in a way that makes their cocks and brains rockhard. Protocoll is really really really helpful there.
Also some things can be trained to be erotic, and some things change and it can be as complicated and as simple as BDSM as a whole. As I said: Big topic.
So that is it. That is what submissives and slaves and pups and boys and masochists and sissys and moneyslaves and objects and gimps and animals and every kind of submissive want from their dom and their lives. From the most extreme 24/7 to an hour a week. They are willing to make many real sacrifices in order to feel that erotic tingle, that sexy satisfaction, and that deep deep sense of love that only comes from romantic attention and a sexually and erotically charged life.
Master Chuck:
Another beautiful example of how much better reality is over fantasy. Thank you for sharing so much with so many.
No comments:
Post a Comment