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Alexander Martin:
I started writing this blog off the suggestion of a fellow alpha. In thinking back this was really the birth of the gay boy bible. I wrote this post to help define some terms and i want to reblog it here, because this is a more appropriate home for it. Before we get to the definitions let’s talk about identity.
When it comes to identity, recognize that bdsm has an unbelievable spectrum of people within it and identity is often more complicated than a single title. Maybe all of them are part of you but some are more pronounced than others. You don’t need to adopt any of them, but at least you’ll have the language to talk about different approaches to BDSM.
A faggot, omega, or boy could all identify as a title other than the ones i use to describe them. But that’s a great conversational point. You can in conversation use your preferred title, and use that as a launching board to talk about yourself and your kinky interests. In this way you can have a title that’s unique to you, but still lead someone to get to know you in the first few minutes of conversation.
Dominants, as a final word on the subject before getting into definitions. Recognize that behavior and titles are not linked. Not every submissive you meet is a boy. Not every submissive you meet is a faggot. Take a moment to get to know them a little and ask about their preferred title and use it. One of the number one ways people have accidentally pissed off @bredbeta was to refer to him as a faggot. He is a boy and despises the term faggot.
- Beta/Boy: A Beta’s primary motivation is respect. A beta will often say to himself “is this person worthy of my submission?” He takes a great deal of pride in his submission. He prefers that he feel respected and protected by his Alpha/Dom/Sir. That respect is central to who he is. Betas draw confidence from the one they serve and are often personally bettered by serving one they deem fit to serve. Their submission is strength to them because they feel like a better stronger person by giving up control to someone worthy of it. Beta’s often seek out Alphas who exhibit strengths where they have weaknesses or who embody ideals they wish they had.
Beta: “I submit because i am strong, not because i am weak.”
- Omega: An omega’s motivating factor is to be treated as “below” others. An omega wants to be at the bottom of any established pecking order. He desires to be made to feel that he is rarely (if ever) considered. Whether that consideration be his feelings, his well being, or his needs. His NEED is simply to be used and then ignored. He enjoys being used in absolutely any way he can. Note: it is abuse to completely disregard another person’s needs and well being even when they ask for it. Don’t do that. Be a responsible dominant. Establish limits for yourself. Stay within them.
Omega: “I submit because i am weak and you are stronger/superior.”
- Faggot: A Faggot is motivated by dick (and many times cum). They revel in the sensations of being a slut. At the end of the day a faggot is most happy when he has taken all (or given) the dick and/or jizz that he possibly could. If that goal is accomplished, faggots don’t seem to usually mind putting up with insults or disrespect so long as they are allowed to meet their goal.
Faggot: “I’m a bitch huh? This bitch took 30 dicks today. No one fucks better than me.”
I wrote that article to get dominants to realize that not all boys are the same cookie cutter shape. That boys are different and need to be treated differently depending on their motivations for submission. Treating boys the same was one of the biggest mistakes I made as a dominant early on.
Hi. I'm still very new to your blog. I just read your post "Faggot, Omega, Boy" and I'm trying to see where I fit in this. Because some times ago, I realized that what I trully crave is to be humiliated, to feel violated, may be below others like the omega. I like to please my superioir, but, more than that, I wanna please him in the most degrading way because it turn me on and because it turn him on too. I want him to use my body, control me and push me further into my submission and degradation.
But to directly answer your question, that particular motivation most falls under faggot as being disrespected is part of your motivation. That disqualifies you from boy and omegas have a powerful need to be under others in a social structure.
Two things to keep in mind:
1) Use whatever title you want - If you really dislike faggot, then don’t feel obligated to use it. I’m well aware that there are a number of men and boys who will never read my blog through use of the word faggot. My boy is actually one such boy. You’ve accomplished the most important goal of the article. Being able to tell a dominant what motivates you. You’d be surprised how hard it is to get boys to do this.
2) The titles in that article are not cut and dry - There are plenty of boys out there who have reposted that article without reading the foreword and been confused that they were a combination faggot/omega or that they’re usually a boy, but sometimes a faggot. I know this is the case and self expression isn’t as simple as putting oneself into a single box. Be in touch with how you’re feeling. Being able to tell your Sir, “I’m feeling pretty faggoty today” would be an absolute blessing. Dominants can’t read your mind, so having some ready terms to use to tell us how you feel is an excellent way to submit.
I would like to point out to everyone (as it seems to get missed a lot)…
1) Identities are helpful as a tool for understand yourself and your motivations. If you choose to embrace them that’s perfectly fine, but only so long as they’re doing good things for you (making you happy).
2) Human beings are not neat. We don’t generally fit into a single box. You may have some or ALL of these inside of you. The point here is being able to articulate your needs to not just say “dom me” but rather “I’m feeling like a faggot today.”
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