Equal Time

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slut_boy_4_Male_Dom:

One of the things that porn never shows us is the amount of work and communication that Masters and slaves need to put in to make their relationship work. Good communication is critical to successful power exchange, but slaves often have trouble expressing concerns to their master, because slavery requires the slave to work to put aside as much of his ego as possible and to accept things that might be inconveniences to him. Explaining a problem to a master can feel very non-submissive and therefore may feel like the slave is being a bad sub. But if a slave doesn't discuss the problem he's experiencing, it will probably eventually manifest in some fashion--a sudden burst of anger or disobedience, for example. Repressed resentment is likely to 'come out sideways' at unexpected moments of stress.

One solution to this problem is for master and slave to have what I call Equal Time. Equal Time is an opportunity for master and slave to set aside their power exchange and mandated roles and have a conversation as two equal partners in a relationship. Both can speak freely and express any concerns they have about how the power exchange is functioning. Both partners can express feelings they might normally repress because they don't fit into their accepted roles. So the slave might say "I feel that I don't have enough time to do all the chores you expect me to do. I need more time to relax. Could you do the dishes more often?" The master might say, "I'm worried about our household budget. How are we going to pay for that repair we need to do?"

Early in a Master/slave relationship, it's best to have Equal Time on a regular basis, maybe every couple of weeks as the partners learn their roles and figure out what's not working. Slaves should be allowed to request Equal Time if they have something they're struggling with. In poly households, this is particularly important. The introduction of a new boy (or a new Master) into an established relationship will inevitably necessitate a lot of discussions.

This stuff isn't sexy. It's not part of the fantasy. But it's like the stage hands at a play. People watching the play won't see it, but the people performing know just how valuable they are and how badly things would go without them.

Nachtsoul:

This is well worth thought.  Not sure I'd do it just this way, but there definitely needs to be a mechanism for "out of band" communication if your D/s doesn't already have a lot of feedback built into it... perhaps even if it does.