This 90-minute workshop will cover pain-play from the biological, evolutionary, and psychological perspectives. The meanings of pain in Western Culture has morphed over the centuries. In the late 20th century, the (then named) BDSM community fixated on the simple idea that the endorphin high explains why people enjoy pain-play. This focus came at the expense of exploring more complex emotional motivations related to the places pain-players go inside their heads. As pain play moves from gentle to intense, players move through complex emotional and mental states which gives their play deeper meaning. These meanings give a fuller understanding of motivations which are adaptive and healthy, leading to the conclusion that pain-play can be synergistic with deep loving relationships.

The last part of this talk looks at the shadow sides of physical and psychological pain, which is how they can erupt unwanted or be consciously abused in relationships. Most often psychological pain between partners is not intentional. What does pain mean, here, when it is neither wanted nor useful? When pain is mis-used then at least one of the partners feels worse about their self: they feel de-valued. This is the exact opposite of healthy erotic pain which leaves both partners feeling more valued by both self and other.

About our presenter

Dr. McConnell is a Psychologist, a Marriage and Family Therapist, and an Adjunct Professor at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology (PSY100673.) He has a private GSRD-affirming practice in Hillcrest. He supervises two Interns who provide therapy on a sliding fee. About half his clients are in complex relationships such as poly or D/s. He also provides individual counseling for clients dealing with such typical issues as depression, anxiety, life transitions, conflicts at work, and inner financial health. Licensed in 1987, for 30 years Dr. McConnell has given presentations to both professional and community audiences on Gender, Relationship and Sexual Diversity (GSRD).

 www.JohnMcConnellPhd.com ∙ John@JohnMcConnellPhD.com ∙ 619-993-3397 

Things That Pinch "Learn It - Do It" workshop w/social, hot tub, and pool with Officer Wes

About our presenter

Officer Wes has been presenting on a variety of fun kink topics for over twenty eight years.  Officer Wes has an open leather family built around shared values of respect, honor, trust, and love.  He has a slave and dogslave and is himself in service to a Daddy. 

Resources and information at www.officerwes.com

San Diego Leather Community Awards

Saturday, February 29⋅6:00 – 10:30pm
Urban MO's Bar & Grill 308 University Ave, San Diego, CA 92103, USA

To honor our fellow community members, businesses and organizations for the outstanding support they give to everyone regardless of orientation, ethnicity, or sexual identity.

FMSD's Perpetual Calendar of Events

Wondering what we have planned on a coming date? In addition to these e-mail blasts there is FMSD's Perpetual Calendar of Events located at

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