Tribal Dance Committee
By Papa
Tony
Has it been a long time since you felt really, really glad to be around large crowds of men? Well, it's time to get back in touch with your Inner Three-Year-Old who loves to dance with all of his heart! If you've never experienced such good times and true brotherhood during a dance party, then it's time to pay attention to how things are changing. It's your gay birthright to have fun, no matter who you are!
It's the right time of the year to begin building our momentum - We can easily have 400 happy men dancing and sweating with their shirts off at every dance-party by summertime, but we need to get the ball rolling now, so that we'll be ready for it. Reply to this message to send in your suggestions, or to get on the Committee.
It's time to step up to the plate, express your best ideas and make a powerful difference in your community!
What is a Tribal Dance?
A Tribal Dance is a safe space for gay men and their friends, where everything works. The maximum number of people show up, feel welcome, have a really fun time, and feel great about it the next day. It's not a Competition Thing, It's not a Drug Thing, it's not a Meat Market thing, it's a Brotherhood Thing! If you've ever been to a Tribal Dance, you'd know what to expect, and you'd be demanding new ones all of the time, like so many men do. I've hosted parties JUST LIKE the ones I describe below, week after week, and year after year. Every word is true, and I'm a man of my word.
Sometimes a Tribal Dance is easier to define by what it's NOT:
• There is no "A-List" at all. Nobody is better, more perfect, or more worthy of friendship, courtesy or desire. That's how other places work, but not a Tribal Dance. If somebody comes in looking to be worshipped for their perfect pecs, they are baffled when folks expect them to have a personality and to hold up their end of the social structure. Some don't stick around, but the majority stay when they realize that we are all there to have fun. Body Fascism never shows up - Nobody's going to say "You know, you'd look better with your shirt back on!"
• There are no "Grumpy People". We all know how to be jerks, we all have ego issues, yet we're able to leave all that outside. The payoff for being nice is that we get to be a part of a really kick-ass, fun community.
• There is no culture of drugs. Those who come in cranked up on something illegal don't tend to get whatever they're looking for, and head elsewhere. Folks who drink too much aren't given any encouragement. Our drug of choice is the endorphin-rush we get when all of the parts are working perfectly, and everybody hits a "crowd high".
We also like to brag about what is so special about Tribal Dances:
• We get all ages from 21 to all of the way upward (since we dance at bars that serve alcohol, usually, though we'll undoubtedly organize some all-ages events). The vast majority of men are middle-aged... well-socialized, stable, with disposable income and VERY specific ideas about what they like and don't like. Unlike the dance-parties aimed at the younger crowd, Tribal Dances aren't prone to the Dirty Old Man Effect, where young guys feel awkward because the older men are purely there to hit on them. At a Tribal Dance, younger guys are expected to keep up with the older guys, not the other way around.
• We attract a lot of established, long-term couples. Yes, many men use these events to hook up with a new date, but it's not required or expected. It's a very healthy environment.
• We get everybody from the nelliest sissy-thing to the grisliest Leather Daddy, from muscle-boys to the BIG Bears, but folks don't tend to clump into cliques. We take off our shirts, we sweat, we dance, we laugh, we hug, we chatter and we dance some more!
• You don't have to wait for a dance-partner... If the music moves you, then throw your ass out into the middle of the dance-floor and shake it, baby. Everybody dances with everybody, all the time. It's NOT a defensive measure (where you're dancing by yourself), it's a joyful high, because you really do feel like complete strangers all around you are enjoying dancing with you. Tribal energy is the only way that we can all hit Diva Overload at the same times, grinning like monkeys with every tooth in our heads, sweating like pigs, and dancing like angels, a foot off of the ground!
• We don't do "Top-Down" promotions. A lot of bar-owners think that they just need to create a newspaper ad featuring a barely-dressed man, or pay for an out-of-town DJ, and men will somehow magically show up and enjoy themselves, but I've never seen it work as well as what we do. For successful Tribal Dances, we use "Bottom-Up" promotion, where men who had a GREAT time tell their buddies, and the crowd grows like magic. We spread the news via e-mail, and the network already exists:
So - How does it work?
None of this high-concept stuff works if nobody is there to be the Host(s). SOMEBODY has to care deeply about the success and well-being of the entire crowd, and a small number of men love to do this. It satisfies a need in our souls to be Daddies, so there's never a problem recruiting more.
We have certain duties:
• We talk to the bar-owners and managers to make sure that the right kind of music will be played. We like music that is NOT 140 beats per second thump-thump-thump stuff, but rather more melodic, with actual lyrics and lots of divas mixed in. If we wanted to dance to music that requires drugs to enjoy, then we would already be going everywhere else to dance. In short, we like "Good Times" music, to take our minds off of our troubles.
• We welcome the new people. This may seem scary - why on earth would we risk rejection by so many men who arrive for the first time, and they've got "wary and cynical" written all over them? The welcoming process is actually really easy, and I will gladly coach anybody on how to do it - we just enjoy, respect and welcome the new guys, with certain standard welcoming messages. Men in our community are STARVED for some feeling of connection, and 78 out of 80 newcomers get right into the spirit of things, and the others simply go elsewhere. Credibility helps - If we are wearing "Tribal Dance - Party Host" t-shirts, and everybody is hugging and loving us, then newcomers can't help but notice and relax around us:
• We acknowledge the brightest stars around us. Sometimes, it's the obvious ones, but sometimes it's the stranger who arrives with a bad attitude, expecting the same-old crapola he's found everywhere else, and who ends the evening by dancing the wildest while wearing the biggest smile! Sometimes the toughest nuts to crack are the best new members of the Tribe, so the Hosts always pay attention, draw people near and acknowledge extroverts and superstars for having broken through to a joyful space, while encouraging others to do the same.
Honestly, all we're doing is encouraging our brothers to get in touch with their Inner Three Year Old.
When you were a kid, you loved to dance, and didn't care how you looked. Somehow since those days, we all learned how to protect our tender hearts so that they wouldn't get stepped on. We never stop missing simpler times, so why not just gather in huge crowds to re-create an environment of safety and fun, over and over?
If any of this sounds good to you, then please don't wait - Send in an e-mail, get involved, get the ball rolling, and send in your suggestions. It's no big deal to get some serious momentum, because I gathered thousands of e-mail addresses while I hosted the earlier parties, and those good-hearted men have faithfully and gladly remained on my mailing-list for years. Wherever we take the Tribal Dances, the crowd will surely follow!
We've always had the power, and now we can just claim it for ourselves and our brothers. Let's have an awesome summer!