Dominant Body Language

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By Sir Alex - (See other posts by Sir Alex):

A lot of my blog has to do with the mental side of things so, this week’s topic is all about using your body to communicate being in charge. You almost certainly do many of these techniques, but I fervently believe that even the simplest gestures are more meaningful and impact when applied consciously and intentionally.

When you apply dominant posture with body language you should do it because:

- You put your sub off balance: A submissive that is standing but is grabbed in a way that requires him to depend on your support to prevent him from falling to the ground. Causing your sub to be off balance physically puts his mind off balance. Don’t do any motions to put him there that are too sudden or precarious. When you put him off balance his mind shifts to staying upright. Any worries, any concerns, any barriers he might have up are swept away as the conscious mind makes sure you aren’t about to fall. It’s an excellent way to get a light reset button allowing you to refocus the scene.

Purpose: Refocusing the scene or returning attention to you.

Example: The standard dip done in dancing wherein you support your partner with an arm to prevent falling, while pushing them backwards so they are no longer in control of their orientation you are.

- You secure your sub: When you secure your submissive you press your body into his in a way that makes moving away more difficult. Your body is also pressed up against his. Any move he takes you can counter because of your proximity. Your arms or legs should be in a position to restrict movement while holding. Before securing your sub, you should already have in mind the transitional movements to the next position you want to assume or that you want him to assume. If you don’t think ahead you can end up awkwardly moving about which can take away from the moment. 

Purpose: Restricting movement and asserting control with your body.

Example: Wrapping one arm such that your elbow nestles into his shoulder and your arm wraps as far around his back as you can, (ideally) wrapping your fingers around his opposite shoulder to gaze into his eyes with eager lust. He’ll positively melt. (this picture was the closest one I had, the man with his arm around the other guy’s shoulder is most likely submissive as he is avoiding eye contact and in this case, arms on hips is the more dominant posture here).

- You want his attention: When I want someone’s undivided attention, I reach forward, put my hand behind his neck and turn his head while pressing my forehead to his. I gaze into his eyes and speak softly. You can shout and bellow if that’s your style. But studies show that in terms of listener attention, soft speaking (not shouting) gets you heard. People will listen more attentively because they have to in order to hear what you’re saying. When it comes to a submissive that means orders you only have to give once. It also means that you can do the classic maneuver wherein to convey the most important few words of what you have to say you can press your face past his until your lips are close to one ear and say softly whatever you have to say. Do it right, and he’ll look up at you with doe-eyed adoration.

Purpose: Retaining captured attention and putting attention on what you have to say.

Example: I press my forehead to his. *quietly* “Boy, I’ve learned some new ties and I want to practice them on you. You never look more beautiful than when cotton crisscrosses your skin.” I slide my mouth to his ear and whisper “It’s going to get a bit tight. But you can handle it for me can’t you boy?” Withdraw so he can see my face; flash a dazzling and sly smile. 

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Have a question or need a friendly ear? 

Ask me anything about BDSM at BDSMadviceAlex AT gmail DOT com! 

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